Observations

This isn't a fully formed thought, but I thought that I'd try and verbalise how I'm thinking.

I was in church this morning and one of the girls was looking into a mirror during the worship time. The first thought that popped into my head wasn't one of annoyance or anything like that, but it was an obvious way to show how I sometimes come to church, to worship.

I can only speak from how I personally feel because I don't want to make assumptions of everyone around me. But do I sometimes go to church just to look at myself in a shiny bit of glass, examining how beautiful/ugly I look, depending on the mood I'm in or the week I've had?

It's not always the way I come to worship, and there is nothing wrong with a self-examination, that's what the Confession is about. We have to look at ourselves and see the flaws and imperfections, but not to be consumed totally by them.

God works in amazing ways and He's the one who makes us clean and whole. We can't do that under our own strength. We can have a really clean mirror, however it doesn't affect the object that is reflected.

Eventually I have to put the mirror down and focus on the cross. What is worship for, to glorify God? to get my vocal chords stretched so I can lead children's church better? to spend my entire time wondering how I sound or look?

I know it's the first one and I'm also aware that it's the last two more often than not. It's easy to say that worship is about God and for God, not so easy to do.

Going Home

Last week was half term for most schools across the country. Which is a good thing for the traffic. The drive to work takes 5 minutes wth no school traffic. This morning it took closer to 30 cos of the school traffic/heavy snow combination.

It's also good for us youth worker types, because we get to do a different type of youth work. On Shrove Tuesday we had young people in and out of church, wanting hot drinks and pancakes. It was very interesting to see young people and just have the opportunity to sit and chat.

We were busy this last week, but that didn't stop me having some time to go and see my family. And to preach at the church where I grew up. Christ Church is a very lovely place to be. Lots of people of all ages, all very welcoming and I had a good time. I told a joke during my 10am preach, but failed to set it up well, so didn't get a hint of a laugh! Even now I'm still learning!

I'm sure the audio will be up soon, so just keep looking out for it.

I think I left a bit of my heart in Essex this week.

We've started Lent and the new Bishop Alan Smith has set our Diocese a challenge. I'm enjoying it so far... another challenge we've been set is to pray more. Church is gonna be open all day for prayer. So feel free to drop in.

CUF

My salary is largely funded by a great bunch of guys at Church Urban Fund. They visited us a few months ago for Big Breakfast, took some information and some pictures.

We're currently "project of the month" on their website. Love it. There's Lauren and me under the rainbow in the hall (on the CUF home page), and then Trina and Dele at the top of the page and Alex at the bottom. Yes we have a wide mix of people at BB.

I cannot tell you how proud I am of all the hard work the volunteers do to put on Big Breakfast every week! It's a massive relief to see some of the work I do getting recognised.

Along with that and something God said to me last night, I'm feeling pretty chuffed right now.

Later this week I'm off to Youthwork the Conference. I'm massively looking forward to a) hanging out with the boys and my sister and b) being away for a bit with a purpose.

Holidays and Broadband

Not really been blogging, mostly because I've been busy doing admin, making cakes and attempting to get broadband in my house after a massive 4 weeks without (I think Broadband is quickly becoming a home essential).

I'll add pictures to this when I get home, as I've also now put my birthday pictures on FB, so will add those shortly.

I've been the temporary administrator for church whilst the actual secretary is on holiday, it's not vital for me to be doing this job, as the office runs intermittently during holiday times. It's more for my own stability. Last year I hardly did anything over the holiday period, but this time I've got 3 groups sorted from September to Christmas, and have even started to consider Christmas time. We're getting there with packing for Uganda and I think next summer I'll do a drop in during the summer as some of my yp are already bored (they've only been on holiday for 2 weeks).

So when the secretary returns on Wednesday I will probably retreat for a few days to prepare for a busy three weeks. I also am helpfully putting my thoughts on to paper about the coming year.

Look out for pictures they'll be up later when I get home. Have to also write a sermon centred around Uganda, 1 Corinthians 13 and Micha 6:8. So if any one has any ideas, they would be greatly appreciated!

Her's the finished article, 3 Chocolate and 3 Maderia Cakes all 6"x6" - a total of 6 hours baking. It's sparkly and purple... if any one would like to make me a cake those are good things to go with!

A Long List

Things have been happening since I last wrote...

My faith took another bashing at a Youth BBQ. I can understand the school children doing it, they don't know me, they are permitted to ask questions (however mockingly). But at a BBQ with young people I know quite well, sadly I had to walk away and not be part of the conversation any more, cause I'd run out of answers and patience.

Then we had Lewsey Churches BBQ inside because of the torrential rain and thunderstorms outside. I can't remember having such extreme weather in the UK, it's been such a long time since we had regular decent thunder and lightening. I really enjoyed it, mainly because I wasn't getting wet!

The week wore on; it's that time of year for trips. We have an unusal thing in our youth group where two people were born hours apart, so have the same birthday. They are completely unrelated. I love the way God brings people together. We headed to Laser Quest for their birthdays. During 'dinner' I sat back and realised what a wonderful youth group had been formed over the last year. They, as a group, are testament to how much I have learnt. I love them all dearly and pray that their group gets stronger.

We had breakfast on the car park and a mighty miracle from God to do it. He moved the clouds at 8am and the sun shone through till 9.30am. Everything is possible when you let God work! It was great to see the young people and teachers that day, though sadly no dustbin men or old grumpies. Our community doesn't feel complete without them really. It was a great way to end the term.

During that week I also completed the practice and essay for my PGDip and JNC. So I can now say that "I am a fully Qualified Youth Worker, subject to Exam Board passing my essay and practice file". Not quite as fun as saying I'm a JNC Youth Worker, but close enough for me! It's been 2 years of hard work, but it's all done (subject to Exam Board - it's like a sting in the tail).

Then it was time for me and my sister to turn 25. We went our separate ways for our actual birthday. She hung out with our family and went drinking and dancing, whilst I spent the morning at Luton Hoo, and the evening at Silverstone.

For those who don't know Luton Hoo is a stately home turned Hotel, newly refurbished and reopened to the public. They do a great breakfast. So I and 12 girls (and 1 boy who is so tiny he didn't know any different) had breakfast together. It was delightful!
Me and Christine

Me in my new role as Stately Home owner!

Silverstone is a whole other world. Its one of the main race tracks in the UK and where Formula 1 raced only a few weekends ago. I went up there to spend the evening with a friend who was racing with Formula Student. All the Mechanical Engineer departments in Europe racing cars they have built. Was very fun I stood on the track and in the pit lane. My Dad really lovely Formula 1 so was very jealous. I loved it.

The Home Straight

Me standing with a vacant expression on my face... hoping not to get run over, not really know what to do. I look proper tiny under the Santander Bridge!

The pit lane... apparently still had markings on it from F1 (I don't really know though, I'm a girl!)

Sunday was spent at church with a[n embarrassing] rendition of Happy Birthday, which left me very red and quite embarrassed. Then to the parents for BBQ with family, extended family, our church friends and the boys school/work friends. Was lovely to see everyone and hang out. (will post pics soon)

Monday night I held another Youth BBQ and the new Curate helped out. He's a man and loves building fire, so the job was perfect for him. The YP had brought me a card and cake! They surprised me massively. And again I realised how blessed I am to have all 13 of them in my life. Lovely young people! Brilliant end to a great weekend!

Hopefully life will calm down now. Just Uganda and September term to prepare for! Ha ha... working hard as ever!

Tigger moments

No internet at home means plain blogging for a few weeks. I promise many photo's upon the return of BT broadband to the house (Sky lost out because they were massively unhelpful...)

I'm at work, making massive use of the internet before working on a sermon this afternoon with no facebook distraction! There might be something go out of this lack of internet!

No thoughts worth sharing have occurred in the last seven days. But Good News prevails! Since we joined Mission Direct, had a project to go to and confirmed who was going to be part of the team we have raised the £11,160 we need to pay for our tickets.

This was massively helped along by my parents church, my own church and the local community. Everybody has put so so so much in. I got a bit emotional in church on Sunday. Not a bad thing, I was totally and suddenly overcome by how much people had given! It's amazing. God has been gracious to us, He's given more than I could ever imagine.

There are many minds at peace about this trip now, mine is one of them, but I've felt like this since February, so I turned into Tigger. My security and joy definitely come from God and I'm massively happy at the moment.

Now all I have to remember is to pay the money to MD oh, and get the booster injections and health passort I need to gain entry to Uganda.

Where are we at?

Half term ended with a bit of a flourish...

Two nights in London, one to see a friend play a gig and the second to be majorly disappointed by the Emerging Culture Salsa event. It seems that the emerging church still mostly caters for women and feels very disorganised.

I would have loved to have salsa danced to a live band with a man who could dance. Is that too much to ask? I would have done it very differently and I was not filled with hope when the organiser of the event introduced herself and said she'd never Salsed (sp?) before. Does this count as righteous moaning?

Then we had a town wide Pentecost Praise on Sunday night at the Calvary Church of God In Christ (COGIC). This was totally awesome, not only was it well attended, it was loud and so relaxed. I really loved it that there was no preach slot, but that leaders from across the town got up and prayed over the town. Hoping for more things like this and for more twenty-somethings to join in.

I was taking it all in and had a job to do, so felt more at home than previously.

Upon reflection of the whole weekend:

Thought 4: I really don't expect my peers (who aren't my friends) to know who I am, even if I know who they are/have worked with them before. I'm not sure where this thought is headed, I've not verbalised it enough. I think I expect young people to know me (I got on the train to London and said hello to two young people) but I never expect acquaintances to know my name, I'm just not important.

Oh and on the Uganda front, we had an afternoon tea this weekend and raised £180 from it! My young people have worked so so so hard towards the fundraising. I'm increasingly proud.

Questions without answers

Lots of 'what ifs' and 'whys'... I can't answer them, or if I do I say, I haven't been there, or I don't know.

This last weekend I've been away with my old church (or sending church, or parents church, or family church)... any way I grew up in this church. I got to hang out with the 'next' generation. My parent's friends children were the young people and they had a great idea of what we were talking about.

Two of my passions worked on this weekend, young people and eradicating the word 'stuff' from my vocabulary. So we eventually got to the tangible about Christianity with two different groups.

The funny thing about youth work is the way that as soon as you introduce someone new to a group, leaders-wise, suddenly the young people wake up and start to answer the questions you've been trying to get them to answer for months! Liz said "you are so much better than me" I responded "I'm so much different from you". As we both grow in ministry, we'll find the things we are good at, and things we need to work on. Sometimes I love growing up other times i dislike it intensely.

In other news, I pedloed for the first time ever this weekend, and am watching The Day After Tomorrow, which is making me feel freezing!!

Hype

Relaity programmes are rife at the moment and I just caught the end of last nights X Factor, helpfully replayed on ITV (you know, instead of putting on sport at a sesnible time). It makes me very glad that I have absolutely no desire to be on Television at all.

Girls in absolute hysterics at being kicked off the show, yet they all had perfectly reasonable jobs else where. In fact they were the better band, with an imaginative name, left in the competition is "Girl Band"... seriously? Before X Factor the 4 girls were hairdressers and will probably be hairdressers again eventually.

The hype is all too much, I think we're only in the second week of live shows and we already have crying? We never quite get 'hype' right do we?

NB - I stand corrected we're only on the first week and the girls weren't hairdressers, they look like hairdressers. Thanks L

There wasn't enough hype about the Singapore GP the other week... floodlit driving? What were they thinking? 5-10 years ago they would have got away with it. But now, in the age of ecological enlightenment Formula One decides to race at night? Not a clever move, I wonder why some didn't boycott. And today in Japan Bridgestone are running 'green' tyres. Enough to make any sane person scream. I hope they don't do any night races soon.

"I'm not hyping it up" - some thing I've heard recently, but then there was some significant hyping... Church haven't got it right either. We try.

Autumn has arrived in Luton, SLR out and taking some pictures of the red leaves covering the back wall of my garden. SLR isn't digital though, so we have to wait very patiently for the film to be developed. If the photo's are any good I'll post them It's been a long time since I used a film camera. I also have made pumpkin based food stuffs. Pumpkin pie is quickly becoming my own little tradition.

Surprise!!

Here we all are, including an imposter (but it's Mum's best friend so we don't mind), and missing one person too (a cousin). How the family has grown and changed over the last 25 years.

On Saturday we headed to church to celebrate Mum and Dad's 25th Wedding Anniversary, 'cept M&D didin't know that is what we were doing. We had all afternoon with some lovely church people and friends.

L-R Me, Liz, Andy, Gray, Mike and Adam
Doing wht comes naturally, big posers! Much fun was had by all and it's amazing how we can all pull together to get the best out of each other.

I'm glad it's over, and I'm glad that at the end of the day Mum and Dad were surprised, though Dad says he knew something was going on!

Here's to the next 25 years!!

When life works out

I have, by no means got it all sorted, I cry at silly things, I often open my mouth without prior thought, I gossip and sometimes I'm not a very good friend. However I know God, and I know he definitely has it all sorted. How long did He ponder about making the Earth and all the intrinsic things that we don't see, and won't because we take them for granted. I still take time to marvel at rainbows, and their fleeting beauty.

This makes a massive difference in how I approach some tasks... I know that God will sort out things I can't and will bless the things I try to do.

Anyway the point is, I asked the young people to share how their summer had been, what it sounded like for them. For some it sounded like new music, melodies and words which touch hearts and get stuck there. For others summer made Jesus sound a whole lot bigger than they originally understood. For others there was a loud, clear call to be something more, to become the person they are.

For me the summer was a repetitive sound, in a good way. Not the drip of a tap when you can't sleep, but better than that. I talked a bit on Sunday about Psalm 139, and Doug (who is 'granddad') repeated the verse we'd learnt at camp, with no prompting. Every week as we pray, I go back to the Psalms and search out the verse we learnt at camp, I don't know why but it's comforting.

I'm really proud of what the young people taught church this weekend, and mostly because it fitted right in with the theme of the summer for church - the story of David.

My summer started with John Mayer and two months later its over with an event this weekend which I will not be able to talk about until it's over. And i will post pictures, I promise. i feel I have been a little bit middle of the road about life. It's time to start getting passionate again!!

Birthdays Galore

It's seems to be one of those times of year where lots of people have birthdays.
So of course we celebrate, with Cake, cards and presents (even the ones who are reluctant).
It's fun to have everyone sitting around catching up and eating, one of the best parts of being family.
A Demolished Chequerboard cake.

We had an interview for another youth worker, but chose not to empoly this time round. Keep praying for that.

It's also the time of year when APCM's happen and money decisions are made. Fun sunday coming up.

More fund raising events too, we're all dressing up tomorrow night for a Ball.
Watch out for pictures.

Coptic Church, Stevenage. 8.30 am 10/02/08

Sunrise is undoubtedly the best part of the day, so as we travelled into a raising sun this morning I was expecting glorious things.

The Coptic Church is described as the Egyptian Othodox Church, so the service was performed in Arabic, sung and spoken English. It did feel like we were toruists in a foreign land at some points, but like St Hugh's we have our traditions when setting up for church, they did too.

Arriving at the church site you are greeted with a huge mozaic of Jesus and angels (the exact same mozaic is behind the altar table). Walking in through big wooden doors and then some nice glass ones, noticing that the nativity scene was up in the foyer.

In this church the patterns all match, the etched glass, the celing, the lectern, the panneling on the back wall. Was good to see that there was some continuity throughout. This place is a Cathedral, with LCD screens, a balcony, and a side room for baptism. Marble flooring made my shoes a lot louder than they are on the carpet at St Hugh's. Oh and did I mention the icons? No, well it'd be hard to miss them. They are quite huge.

We were welcomed with a very polite smile and a few questions from (what seemed to be) the second in command. Then when the preist had finished, a student read the first reading of the day in garbled English. Then we had the brief history before being lead to the side room.

An hour long ceremony commenced, which was the blessing of the water, and reading of scriptures, then baptism itself and confirmation.

**this bit I didn't understand, I need to find out what confirmation means to the coptic church, in order to understand why they have it done on the same day**

Baptism is by full immersion which the girls didn't like at all. The leader/preist guy wasn't pushy but he had a scary beard and getting your head pushed under water isn't nice even if you have been warned! Oh and only the parents renounce the devil (to the west) and confirm their faith in Christ (to the east).

Ther service for the regular members of the congregation was about to start, so we headed back to St Hugh's. Pleased with the experience and wishing the parents luck as they had another 4 hours or half-english/half-arabic to sit through in order for their children to take first communion. Boy I hope I get to see the parents this week to share with them.

Long winded, yes, but then the church has never been short. Where God guides we go... I'll keep trying to get around to other churches this year, it's an experience!

Good evening Wembleeeeey!

Was in London last night with Liz and Chris seeing the brilliant Maroon 5, and their supporting act (and one of Liz's fav bands) Dashboard Confessional.

It was really good to be able to sing at the top of my voice and actually feel the pain this morning when I woke up! I came crashing back to the real world quite quickly, remembering what had happened before the night of great music and better crowd interaction than some of the previous events I've been too.

We had normal services in the morning, both with anointing at the end. God does amazing things in anointing, it's a mystery as to what, but somethings happening. Advent is changing it's flavour here.

Then we had Christingle in the afternoon. The children and young people were amazing and as per usual we missed que's and made mistakes, but got raving reviews from pretty much every one!

Those who play Mary at St Hugh's seem to be in the category of 'most nervous person prior to performance' but we prayed and God saved! So, next up is a panto! 12 days and counting, argh!

If you are in Luton, there is room at 'The Inn Party' for every one, give me a bell if you want a ticket. 15th December, 6.30pm.

Roll on December!!

Obligatory

This post feels a bit obligatory, there hasn't been much happening since I got back from Eastbourne, apart from the crazy snow on Sunday night (but I was tucked up nice and warm in a duvet watching Ewan and Charley on the "Long way down").

God did answer some prayers this week. On Sunday morning (in Eastbourne) a new friend prayed for an opening into a school, within the last week I have had two phone calls and a personal invitation to attend staff briefing (which so far I have tried, in vain, to get to). The head of BWA came in to shake hands with me on Wednesday, very excited.

Over the next 3 weeks BWA year 7 & 8 will be spending time in church. Woop! Jesus is amazing. God is working through school...

I'm teaching about HIV/AIDs at the end of the week, a little bit scared by this one, because I'm not an expert and I'm pretty sure I need to read up about current medical thinking.

Saw some good friends on Saturday and am very excited about the imminent arrival of their baby girl!

Today The Times magazine T2 was taken over by teenagers from North London, talking about (surprise, surprise) what it means (to them) to be a teenager. I think I'm going to use this soon, and see what my teenagers think...

What's happenin'?

This is a question I get asked regularly, normally I have no clue myself. Today I feel as if I'm on the inside, fully aware of what's going on, not only in church, but in my own head.

Clearly this makes a change from everyday life!

Some of the more exciting things happening are:
* the young people/young adults of St Hugh's are heading to Uganda in summer '08. Logistically this could be a headache, prayers/emotional support much needed.
* Christingle is in the hands of the young people again, pray for God inspired moments and the 'coming together at the last moment'-ness that church is famous for!
* I've got two conferences this week (wohoo!), I need to be well (haven't been since last week) to maximise effect of networking.

In other news -we will not be interviewing for a second youth worker this time round. Oh well, God's got other plans...

Mamouth

It's been a weekend for many church services, I got a good cross section of what it means to be part of church this weekend.

Yesterday was Dad's Licensing as a Reader (which means Lay Preacher, with privileges). So here he is in his robes


I got to see lots of family and friends.

Then this morning the Bishop of St Albans confirmed 10 peole from St Hugh's. Then this afternoon I attened the wedding of Lorraine and Edmore.


Was a great afternoon, day, weekend... now I'm all churched out an ready to have a great week.

Circus

Went to see the Chinese State Circus on Saturday night, was a lot of fun. Quite hard to understand at some points, but that would probably be the thick Chinese accent and bad acoustics. I feel sorry for the people who live over the road from the site.

The 'funniest moment' of the night is awarded to the small child who was sitting behind us, who said as the monks who were trained in the art of pain management left the stage "that was sick!". I think he meant "it was good". Or maybe it should have gone to Chris' reaction when the mum said 'shhh now, and watch' before talking for the next 5 minutes! I think I've seen C.S.C. before and they are a bit different than the Moscow guys.

Last week was 'back to school' week for me. Back in middle school and back to breakfast club. Back to admin and back to church. Also back to half of the blogger site being in German.

The rest of this month is a bit hectic... keep an eye out for random up dates.

Down time

Having some down time after a long weekend and a long few days after that.

Soul Sista was fantastic. "Christ in me, the hope of glory" something I understand a bit more. The bible refers this statement as a mystery, probably because we are pretty good at using jargon. Hope and glory mean different things now to when they were written. It's still largely a mystery, but I'm quite happy with that.

I know Christ is in me, I know my hope is in the cross and the resurrection, so the glory bit remains a mystery (to be honest I wasn't listening!).

Any ideas?

New Car!!

Let me introduce you to Jazz-mine... My beautiful new car, and it's pink. I don't think I need to say any more.

Also I got a place on the MA course at De Montfort. The MA is in youth and community development... it's joined with a professional qualification in youth work in the UK (which I've wanted to do since October 2005). It's distance learning, so it's very flexible and can be tailored to me a lot more.

I'm well excited, it's been a long week but a very good week.

Tomorrow the girlies are heading to Soul Sista in Watford to learn about 'Christ in us the hope of glory'. A phrase I've been struggling with for the past few years. I'm praying hard for this weekend, it's gonna be busy.