Friday, March 19, 2004


Argh!!! So I traveled all the way home to Essex, being the good daughter, to babysit my little brothers and there is no way I can be a mother. They just completely ignored me and expected me to do something close to being their slave. I dunno how my mother copes. The second I got in after a hour and a half drive, the littlest one wanted a lift to his girlfriends and picking up. I know that everyone says this, but I will never let my kids run over me like that. It is totally possible to balance discipline and Love, God does it everyday. Ok, so he is God, and we're all only human, but if you love someone surly that's what you'd do.

Well, I'm back in Essex for the weekend and already madly missing Luton and the things in it, especially the people. It's so hard to realise that there is actually a life outside your own, and it moves on regardless of you most of the time. I miss the Luton people so much right now because I'm so close to them. I can't ever have imagined staying in the same place for the whole of my life, I'd be missing so many opportunities. I'm so happy that I'm missing everyone, as weird as it sounds. God put me in Luton with out a shadow of a doubt and I can be happy I'm missing it because of that. I know I'll be right back in the thick of it in a couple of days time, I just have to see the Essex people first.

I have to tell you the last week has been absolutely amazing, I've really grown close to a couple of people, but it feels so strange to have those people interested in me because of me, and not the other way round, or with ulterior motives. I love it so much. Praise God for all he has done in my life and all the lives surrounding me.