Observations

This isn't a fully formed thought, but I thought that I'd try and verbalise how I'm thinking.

I was in church this morning and one of the girls was looking into a mirror during the worship time. The first thought that popped into my head wasn't one of annoyance or anything like that, but it was an obvious way to show how I sometimes come to church, to worship.

I can only speak from how I personally feel because I don't want to make assumptions of everyone around me. But do I sometimes go to church just to look at myself in a shiny bit of glass, examining how beautiful/ugly I look, depending on the mood I'm in or the week I've had?

It's not always the way I come to worship, and there is nothing wrong with a self-examination, that's what the Confession is about. We have to look at ourselves and see the flaws and imperfections, but not to be consumed totally by them.

God works in amazing ways and He's the one who makes us clean and whole. We can't do that under our own strength. We can have a really clean mirror, however it doesn't affect the object that is reflected.

Eventually I have to put the mirror down and focus on the cross. What is worship for, to glorify God? to get my vocal chords stretched so I can lead children's church better? to spend my entire time wondering how I sound or look?

I know it's the first one and I'm also aware that it's the last two more often than not. It's easy to say that worship is about God and for God, not so easy to do.

A Long List

Things have been happening since I last wrote...

My faith took another bashing at a Youth BBQ. I can understand the school children doing it, they don't know me, they are permitted to ask questions (however mockingly). But at a BBQ with young people I know quite well, sadly I had to walk away and not be part of the conversation any more, cause I'd run out of answers and patience.

Then we had Lewsey Churches BBQ inside because of the torrential rain and thunderstorms outside. I can't remember having such extreme weather in the UK, it's been such a long time since we had regular decent thunder and lightening. I really enjoyed it, mainly because I wasn't getting wet!

The week wore on; it's that time of year for trips. We have an unusal thing in our youth group where two people were born hours apart, so have the same birthday. They are completely unrelated. I love the way God brings people together. We headed to Laser Quest for their birthdays. During 'dinner' I sat back and realised what a wonderful youth group had been formed over the last year. They, as a group, are testament to how much I have learnt. I love them all dearly and pray that their group gets stronger.

We had breakfast on the car park and a mighty miracle from God to do it. He moved the clouds at 8am and the sun shone through till 9.30am. Everything is possible when you let God work! It was great to see the young people and teachers that day, though sadly no dustbin men or old grumpies. Our community doesn't feel complete without them really. It was a great way to end the term.

During that week I also completed the practice and essay for my PGDip and JNC. So I can now say that "I am a fully Qualified Youth Worker, subject to Exam Board passing my essay and practice file". Not quite as fun as saying I'm a JNC Youth Worker, but close enough for me! It's been 2 years of hard work, but it's all done (subject to Exam Board - it's like a sting in the tail).

Then it was time for me and my sister to turn 25. We went our separate ways for our actual birthday. She hung out with our family and went drinking and dancing, whilst I spent the morning at Luton Hoo, and the evening at Silverstone.

For those who don't know Luton Hoo is a stately home turned Hotel, newly refurbished and reopened to the public. They do a great breakfast. So I and 12 girls (and 1 boy who is so tiny he didn't know any different) had breakfast together. It was delightful!
Me and Christine

Me in my new role as Stately Home owner!

Silverstone is a whole other world. Its one of the main race tracks in the UK and where Formula 1 raced only a few weekends ago. I went up there to spend the evening with a friend who was racing with Formula Student. All the Mechanical Engineer departments in Europe racing cars they have built. Was very fun I stood on the track and in the pit lane. My Dad really lovely Formula 1 so was very jealous. I loved it.

The Home Straight

Me standing with a vacant expression on my face... hoping not to get run over, not really know what to do. I look proper tiny under the Santander Bridge!

The pit lane... apparently still had markings on it from F1 (I don't really know though, I'm a girl!)

Sunday was spent at church with a[n embarrassing] rendition of Happy Birthday, which left me very red and quite embarrassed. Then to the parents for BBQ with family, extended family, our church friends and the boys school/work friends. Was lovely to see everyone and hang out. (will post pics soon)

Monday night I held another Youth BBQ and the new Curate helped out. He's a man and loves building fire, so the job was perfect for him. The YP had brought me a card and cake! They surprised me massively. And again I realised how blessed I am to have all 13 of them in my life. Lovely young people! Brilliant end to a great weekend!

Hopefully life will calm down now. Just Uganda and September term to prepare for! Ha ha... working hard as ever!

Lessons Learnt Pt 2

Yesterday afternoon was by far the hardest lesson I have ever had to teach. For all the lessons I have taught, this was the loudest and most questioned I have ever been in. Unfortunately the young people were not doing a very good job at listening to the answers I had. After a few incidents of "Jebus" I had to stop and tell them exactly what was bothering me.

Sometimes the things we say offend other people with out realising it. The only place I really pull young people up on their language is Big Breakfast, some of the yp swear unnecessarily and I have a sharp ear for it... but in this lesson there weren't any swear words, but poor Jesus got a nickname. I know he's been called worse things. I stopped, took stock for a moment and when I carried on things weren't much better.

I stood at the front of the class being pelted by some really good questions, "Who created God?" "How can you believe all this stuff?" "Is Jesus really alive?" "Does God talk to you?" Waaah, but I know that there is nothing before God and there will be nothing after God, I know Jesus is alive and God does talk to me (but not in a audible voice). Our children know myths about God, I find this very sad. They believe in very little and are sceptical. One of the teachers said "you can't question other people's beliefs" don't think that's so true, I think you can, but I think you do have to be sensitive to others too and listen to what they believe, even if you don't believe it yourself.

These discussions HAVE to continue... I was dreaming big dreams on Monday and one of them is to always be in discussion about faith and beliefs.

Quiet Time

It's been a quiet start to the year. There's been much juggling and sorting out, but we seem to be settled and content with the fact that another year has begun.

Today is Chinese New Year and Australia Day... confusing! So I watched the aussie soaps and have stir fry for dinner.

My new year challenge was to not be so addicted to facebook. It seems to have worked.

The hope I had at the beginning of the year still hasn't died! I'm a little surprised, but that's a good thing I suppose. Hope for lots of things. Especially hope for Obama. Good prayers and speeches last Tuesday.

Hope, there always has to be hope. Faith, Hope and Love. I pray my year has all of these.