A Long List

Things have been happening since I last wrote...

My faith took another bashing at a Youth BBQ. I can understand the school children doing it, they don't know me, they are permitted to ask questions (however mockingly). But at a BBQ with young people I know quite well, sadly I had to walk away and not be part of the conversation any more, cause I'd run out of answers and patience.

Then we had Lewsey Churches BBQ inside because of the torrential rain and thunderstorms outside. I can't remember having such extreme weather in the UK, it's been such a long time since we had regular decent thunder and lightening. I really enjoyed it, mainly because I wasn't getting wet!

The week wore on; it's that time of year for trips. We have an unusal thing in our youth group where two people were born hours apart, so have the same birthday. They are completely unrelated. I love the way God brings people together. We headed to Laser Quest for their birthdays. During 'dinner' I sat back and realised what a wonderful youth group had been formed over the last year. They, as a group, are testament to how much I have learnt. I love them all dearly and pray that their group gets stronger.

We had breakfast on the car park and a mighty miracle from God to do it. He moved the clouds at 8am and the sun shone through till 9.30am. Everything is possible when you let God work! It was great to see the young people and teachers that day, though sadly no dustbin men or old grumpies. Our community doesn't feel complete without them really. It was a great way to end the term.

During that week I also completed the practice and essay for my PGDip and JNC. So I can now say that "I am a fully Qualified Youth Worker, subject to Exam Board passing my essay and practice file". Not quite as fun as saying I'm a JNC Youth Worker, but close enough for me! It's been 2 years of hard work, but it's all done (subject to Exam Board - it's like a sting in the tail).

Then it was time for me and my sister to turn 25. We went our separate ways for our actual birthday. She hung out with our family and went drinking and dancing, whilst I spent the morning at Luton Hoo, and the evening at Silverstone.

For those who don't know Luton Hoo is a stately home turned Hotel, newly refurbished and reopened to the public. They do a great breakfast. So I and 12 girls (and 1 boy who is so tiny he didn't know any different) had breakfast together. It was delightful!
Me and Christine

Me in my new role as Stately Home owner!

Silverstone is a whole other world. Its one of the main race tracks in the UK and where Formula 1 raced only a few weekends ago. I went up there to spend the evening with a friend who was racing with Formula Student. All the Mechanical Engineer departments in Europe racing cars they have built. Was very fun I stood on the track and in the pit lane. My Dad really lovely Formula 1 so was very jealous. I loved it.

The Home Straight

Me standing with a vacant expression on my face... hoping not to get run over, not really know what to do. I look proper tiny under the Santander Bridge!

The pit lane... apparently still had markings on it from F1 (I don't really know though, I'm a girl!)

Sunday was spent at church with a[n embarrassing] rendition of Happy Birthday, which left me very red and quite embarrassed. Then to the parents for BBQ with family, extended family, our church friends and the boys school/work friends. Was lovely to see everyone and hang out. (will post pics soon)

Monday night I held another Youth BBQ and the new Curate helped out. He's a man and loves building fire, so the job was perfect for him. The YP had brought me a card and cake! They surprised me massively. And again I realised how blessed I am to have all 13 of them in my life. Lovely young people! Brilliant end to a great weekend!

Hopefully life will calm down now. Just Uganda and September term to prepare for! Ha ha... working hard as ever!

Lessons Learnt Pt 2

Yesterday afternoon was by far the hardest lesson I have ever had to teach. For all the lessons I have taught, this was the loudest and most questioned I have ever been in. Unfortunately the young people were not doing a very good job at listening to the answers I had. After a few incidents of "Jebus" I had to stop and tell them exactly what was bothering me.

Sometimes the things we say offend other people with out realising it. The only place I really pull young people up on their language is Big Breakfast, some of the yp swear unnecessarily and I have a sharp ear for it... but in this lesson there weren't any swear words, but poor Jesus got a nickname. I know he's been called worse things. I stopped, took stock for a moment and when I carried on things weren't much better.

I stood at the front of the class being pelted by some really good questions, "Who created God?" "How can you believe all this stuff?" "Is Jesus really alive?" "Does God talk to you?" Waaah, but I know that there is nothing before God and there will be nothing after God, I know Jesus is alive and God does talk to me (but not in a audible voice). Our children know myths about God, I find this very sad. They believe in very little and are sceptical. One of the teachers said "you can't question other people's beliefs" don't think that's so true, I think you can, but I think you do have to be sensitive to others too and listen to what they believe, even if you don't believe it yourself.

These discussions HAVE to continue... I was dreaming big dreams on Monday and one of them is to always be in discussion about faith and beliefs.

iSpeak

To completely and utterly rip-off Apple... oh well, they might never find out.

Anyway, I spoke at St Mary's Luton yesterday, as part of their Movie@Mary's series. It went really well. If you are interested at all in what I said, the script can be found here.

If you haven't seen Disney's Enchanted, it really won't make much sense. But I hope this will entice you to borrow the film from any 4-11 year old girl you might know. I didn't feel like a princess whilst I was speaking it, that's reserved for the ball I'm going to on Friday!

Auf Deutsch

oder auf englisch?

I've just returned from Germany or more specifically Paderborn, which is north west Germany. Just an hour on the plane from Stanstead.

We landed on Tuesday morning and had German breakfast, meat, bread, cheese and coffee (fleisch, brot, käse und kaffee). Before heading to our accommodation in Borchen about 7km from Paderborn. Stephanus-Haus is a youth centre, much like any youth centre in the UK. Lots of room. We headed to Schloss Neuhaus to visit a school and chat to the teachers about exchanges. We went to met Uwe (oo-ver) and all the paid and volunteer youth workers in the region of Paderborn (but Paderborn is a town as well, following me?) in the evening.

Our hosts, Volker and Konni head up the team and were leading the meeting. A long day and the meeting was long too, but everywhere we went we received a warm welcome and food.

On Wednesday we had breakfast in Wewelsburg, a village with a castle which was taken over by Himmler in WWII. There was also a Concentration Camp just outside the village. It was a very tough day, to face the past and to know that I have learnt nothing much from the history books. When it is in your face, it's hard. If you ever have the opportunity to go, do it. It's very educational.

In the evening we went to a youth service and visited a Youth House, an actual house with lots of space for young people to hang out. More coffee and stollen, so much cake. On to Uwe's for dinner and more chatting. Pictures are on the website. He lives miles away in the east of the region, up in the hills. Oh and it snowed!

On Thursday we spent the day in Paderborn, meeting the Superintendant of the KirchenKreis for breakfast. To the Town Hall (Rathaus) for a meeting with the head of the Youth Service in Paderborn. Two very important ladies in leadership. Then back to Wewelsburg for observing an afterschool project, where some very brave 6-8year olds spoke English to us.

We had 2.5 hours in Paderborn for the Weihnachtsmarkt. I really enjoyed the feel of the Market. We ended our trip back in Wewelsburg with dinner in Ottens Hof. Lovely dinner, great company and it's so lovely to be family across the world.

My love for Germany, for the language and the people has got stronger throughout this trip and I was sad to say goodbye this morning at 5am british time.

Deepen - Youthwork The Conference

Youthwork the Conference is always a good thing to go to, it is great if you go with friends or have people to meet up with when you are there.

I'd have to say I felt incredibly well connected with the network this year. It does help that I'm now very established and quite comfortable in large crowds.

We started this year with a retreat day, no main speaker as in previous years, but some how that's much better. People who are on the retreat day are very much geared to valuing retreats and making the most of the time given. We had 2 and 1/4 hours to 'be' with God. I managed 10 mins alone time, my God speaks to me through interesting and deep conversation. Retreat day was definitely not a waste of time. My only problem was that if it takes us 15 minutes to get into a proper attitude of prayer (Richard Bromley said it at the start of the weekend) then why only spend 15 minutes in worship?

Anyway, trees are very good for reflection. Roots, trunk, branches and fruit. I'll look at trees very differently from now on. I made some new friends on the retreat day too.

On to the main event. Opening with Mike P talking about David. He was very good. I've heard a lot about David this summer, I'm understanding more and more about him as I grow up.
The following morning was opened with an hour of worship, led by the Soul Survivor band (thank God they didn't sing the woooooah song). Great way to start the day, and the weather wasn't bad at all.

The rest of the morning was split into 3 streams (first time ever) Soul, Society and Service. I went to Society. Gerard Kelly and Russ Rook discuss the importance of engaging in culture, looking at Acts and how others can teach us to be better Christians.

The afternoon was taken up with just one seminar on Healthy Living. Good illustrations, definitely some thinking points from that one.

Saturday evening Chris Curtis spoke on David's dark side and allowing God to go deeper with us.
And the after hours Soul Party, dancing the night away! (also going to the beach at midnight)
Sunday morning more seminars, one about 15-18's work, and I didn't go to the second one because it was raining, and I'd left my waterproof shoes at home.
Final session was Nancy Goudie. She, unfortunately, ended on a bum note. I know following God isn't all easy, but in the Christian bubble we like to be assured that it is. I left Nancy's talk feeling depressed and disappointed.

Journey home was very fun, Gill and I discussing the sky and how it's really beautiful this time of year.

So to summarise: Good things: retreat day, food, friends, smiles and sky. Things to improve: Final session, weather, and memory (for shoes).

In other news, Christmas approaches, you can have the whole world in your hands with a PSP and I'm going to Germany in a week! Hopefully the joy will be everlasting.

'Tis the Season

Except I've not been very jolly recently. And there's been no fla la la-ing of late.

Probably because it's dark, wet and cold most of the time, probably because I haven't quite brought into Christmas yet, but I have brought some presents.

Maybe it's because there is a very large amount of things swimming around my brain.

Anyway, the season has come, and the glory of God is shining around (through the grim wetness of Britain) and we're taling about Glory this evening, along with many other things.

If you pray, keep praying. I'm expecting it to get better soon, not the weather, the less jolly feeling. I'm still searching for answers.

401st post

I had to distract myself whilst writing the last post, there was too much pressure to perform! So God and Dad do come as a welcome distraction.

I'm not one to write about anything remotely political, but we stand on the brink of change for America. Well the American's do. Can't say I'm too fussed myself. Will have the radio on tomorrow morning on the way to work, just so I have something to talk about.

Luton is relatively quiet at the moment. It's really strange to be out in the dark, where it's really quiet. I know I've spoken about it being quiet before. It comes and goes, I think the cold snap put off all the revellers.

Anyway, 1 month till the Germany trip! Yeay!

Questions without answers

Lots of 'what ifs' and 'whys'... I can't answer them, or if I do I say, I haven't been there, or I don't know.

This last weekend I've been away with my old church (or sending church, or parents church, or family church)... any way I grew up in this church. I got to hang out with the 'next' generation. My parent's friends children were the young people and they had a great idea of what we were talking about.

Two of my passions worked on this weekend, young people and eradicating the word 'stuff' from my vocabulary. So we eventually got to the tangible about Christianity with two different groups.

The funny thing about youth work is the way that as soon as you introduce someone new to a group, leaders-wise, suddenly the young people wake up and start to answer the questions you've been trying to get them to answer for months! Liz said "you are so much better than me" I responded "I'm so much different from you". As we both grow in ministry, we'll find the things we are good at, and things we need to work on. Sometimes I love growing up other times i dislike it intensely.

In other news, I pedloed for the first time ever this weekend, and am watching The Day After Tomorrow, which is making me feel freezing!!

I've always thought of you as...

My sister said something to me a few days ago which has been wanderng around my head ever since.

She said to me "I've always thought of you as a chunky ring person". We were having a discussion about the ring I'd just brought, a beautiful thick mother of pearl ring. She's right, she knows me quite well it would seem.

It kind of tags on to something I've been thinking about when it comes to God.

I think I'll be pleasently surprised when I meet God (which isn't any time soon... this isn't morbid). I have pictures of God in my head, but they are limited by what I've experienced, what I can see around me and what I've read of the Bible. I know that God is bigger than all that, but my mind can only handle it in very small bites.

The season we are coming in to has become famous for ignoring God, my hope is that I'll see God and all my "I've always thought of you as..." statements will be smashed and redifined, from heaven's perspective, not my own.

Passion

I talked last time about trying to get more passion for something.

Since then I've had some interesting conversations about different things I could get passionate about.

One is glory – of course I want to see the glory of GOD. But I've never understood it, nor have desperately wanted it. I want to see the kingdom of GOD, though hadn't fully grasped how this might change me. That was until I had a long discussion about GOD's glory this week. I want to see GOD's glory in Lewsey, and I want to seek GOD's face first.

Secondly is youth – getting passionate, not angry. People talk about an 18 month barrier in youth work, but I think it's more like two years.

Lastly is 'stuff' – I'm fed up of the word 'stuff' being used to describe things which we are uncomfortable with, or using 'stuff' to make assumptions. My 'stuff' is different from your 'stuff'. Speak in actual words.


I'm hoping that the first one will lead to the other two.

To Resonate:

"To vibrate or sound, especially in response to another vibration; To have an effect or impact; to influence; to engender support"

I think this is what was happening in the last week. The leadership team responded to God's vibrations, and their vibrations lead to our vibrations and our vibrations helped the young people respond to God's vibrations which they may or may not have been hearing throughout the previous year. By the end of the first night, the young people were shining.

We had a lot of fun, some crazy days and some quieter days. But it was really lovely all the same. I made some new friends, and was really stretched by what God is doing with/for the young people. We have lots and lots to follow up.

We also had the weather on tap, the days where we wanted sun, we got sun. This was especially true of the obligatory water fight on the final afternoon. Lovely BBQ and some chucking water at each other. Good fun really.

An awesome week had by all and we raised some money for the persecuted church in China (to fit with the Olympic theme) by running 45 miles between the 150 of us.

Can't wait for the reunion in October/November time.

Half term

I'm kinda having two weeks for half term this time round. I didn't have to go into school at all this week due to trips and changes of timetable.

It's been nice, nice to not have to be any where, and good to get through essays and plan for the long weekend. Having to take matters into my own hands and hope to get s decent essay in on time for next week.

God is definitely by my side, with me in all I do, even essay writing. Funnily enough I am really enjoying compiling a history of youth work and informal education. It's about time though.

So there won't be much going on in the next week, back in Essex for a bit, and then back to Luton for a nice quiet half term, one hopes!

God Is With Us

You have looked deep
into my heart, LORD,
and you know all about me.
Psalm 139 v 1

After all is said an done, God knows me inside and out, He knows exactly how to comfort me, when to inspire me, when to push me to my limits. He knows me better than anyone else ever will.

It's not been a great week, news and events wise. I've attended the funeral of one of the men who used to come to church. Sadly it took six weeks for the funeral to happen because there were no next of kin and only one breavement officer in the L&D. Strikes me as a silly thing to do, everyone dies, quite a few of them in hospital. So why only one breavement officer?

Following some bad news on Tuesday night, my bible reading was about David being chosen because of how his heart looked, rather than his outward appearance. God's unknown way of bringing comfort to me. I am in awe of how he has helped me, each time I take stock of my life.


On Sunday we headed to the prayer room at Kestin House to be part of the ten days of prayer for Luton. Here's an arty picture to keep you intrigued about the prayer room!

God knows you, He knows your heart
God is here, his spirit is with you.