Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Comfort zones

This is where I am. Back in my little Essex comfort zone making mistakes left, right and centre. I'm not very happy with myself and my brain.

To think I can come back and be tempted to fit right in with every one. Its too easy to do.

Christians should stick out like a sore thumb for what they believe and how they act. But around me I see people who have returned to their home town only to fall back into the way that they were when they left.

I am no exception to this, but some how I feel I should be. God has done so much for me while I was at University and I feel like I've thrown it back in his face. I feel terrible.

Some one said to me as I left Luton, 'don't worry, you can love God just as much, nothing will change'. Maybe I was out to prove that person wrong so that I could go back to Luton and show them how it had changed.

Then I came across the realisation that loving God is as much a discipline as something I really want to do. Over the past year I have tried my hardest to read my Bible everyday. I struggled on some days, but I got there and was working my way through. I got home and after a week it all fell apart. I know that Bible notes don't need to be followed to the letter, as we are all individuals and interpretation is something God gave us, but how can I interpret if I don't read?

The answer is literally sitting on my desk staring me in the face. I just need to pick it up instead of wasting my time with the TV switched on.


john cowart said...

We may stick out like a sore thumb but that should not be our conscious doing. We are most Christian when we are not even aware of it. There is a danger in showing off piety. I think Christ does His work in us most often in spite of our efforts, even our devotional efforts. Relax. He knows what He’s doing. “By grace… “ and all that.

mareike said...

i know exactly what you mean! i'm always kind of afraid of going home because i know that's what i always end up...
it's so hard to stand up against laziness... that must be one of satan's greatest weapons... so we need to fight... and not get tired of it. try again and again, because GOD keeps giving us chances and He doesn't get tired of it...