Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Comfort zones

This is where I am. Back in my little Essex comfort zone making mistakes left, right and centre. I'm not very happy with myself and my brain.

To think I can come back and be tempted to fit right in with every one. Its too easy to do.

Christians should stick out like a sore thumb for what they believe and how they act. But around me I see people who have returned to their home town only to fall back into the way that they were when they left.

I am no exception to this, but some how I feel I should be. God has done so much for me while I was at University and I feel like I've thrown it back in his face. I feel terrible.

Some one said to me as I left Luton, 'don't worry, you can love God just as much, nothing will change'. Maybe I was out to prove that person wrong so that I could go back to Luton and show them how it had changed.

Then I came across the realisation that loving God is as much a discipline as something I really want to do. Over the past year I have tried my hardest to read my Bible everyday. I struggled on some days, but I got there and was working my way through. I got home and after a week it all fell apart. I know that Bible notes don't need to be followed to the letter, as we are all individuals and interpretation is something God gave us, but how can I interpret if I don't read?

The answer is literally sitting on my desk staring me in the face. I just need to pick it up instead of wasting my time with the TV switched on.