Me shaped

After all the anxiety of the last week and building up to something that could happen, I'm afraid to say I'm still me shaped.

Nothing really happened this weekend. I cafe'd, I cleaned and I went to church. I didn't really talk to the person I needed to talk to, but you know when you have that feeling that what you want to say is totally irrelevant?

It might come up again one day, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

The cleaning part of my weekend was fun. The cell group went litter picking in the alley way behind my road. It was minging!

There were a selection of things that they dragged up and I moved with the help of others. We got an armchair, a bike, tyres, an Iceland trolley and metal grids.

Amazingly the council came and picked it up from the house we'd left it in front of. Those council guys were great, they even picked up a couple of matresses and a fridge that had been sitting futher down the road for a while. Bless them lots!

We stood around and chatted to some residents who live down the road from us while we were clearing the car park. Was great.

Only two incidents for the whole time we were picking, a nail through a shoe and some horrid, smelly tyre water splashed some ones face. But we all had a good laugh!

Enthralled

By all the wrong things.

The cricket being one of them! England have done really well over the last day and a half. I have to admit to watching it a bit mindlessly trying to avoid thinking and doing things.

I don't think I'm fully aware of how much I should be doing in the next few days. With essays to finish and final exams to revise for I know I'm actively avoiding all the things that will further my education. I know it's a loop I can get out of so easily. Now to just kick my self into action...

Social action in fact! our cell are going to litter pick tomorrow. Should be fun! Suddenly not afraid to talk about Jesus, if it means I don't have to do any uni work... theres something wrong there.

Ice cream, chocolate fondant icing (heated) and malteasers

I have found the perfect cure for anything. All thanks to Miriam and the above combination. Yes, you do stay awake for a while after but it does mean that the pain in my shoulder went away long enough for me to fall asleep and still be asleep when the alarm went off this morning.

This combination is also a known cure for unity problems in CU and boredom. Normally the result is lots of giggling.

Having been kindly reminded I have til Sunday, I'm very scared. My life could all go a little pear shaped, but I'm praying about it.

Who needs my mercy?

The question asked of us by Jude at last night's service.

The whole thing was very good. I was thinking about how we judge and why, especially since I got called up for Jury Duty on the 4th July! Obviously I'm not overly impressed with the timing of this. It means I can't get a job this summer, which would only be geared towards paying off my overdraft.

Nevermind I know that God has got something in store for me over those two weeks and I'm sure that I'll find something to do to earn enough to go to Ignite.

I was back in Essex for most of Saturday for Dad's birthday, so spent a large amount of time on Sunday walking around in a bit of a daze and dropping stuff (no damaged caused and lots of laughs had at my incapability to do stuff). I have forgotten how exhausting travelling and being part of a family is.

As uni enters its last three weeks and I have approximately 5 weeks left in Luton, I will keep you informed as to where I will be and what I will be doing in the summer.

Do you love your name?

I love my name. I respond to my middle name just as much as my first name. I don't get why people don't like the name they were given.

I don't like being called someone elses name, but being a twin, I've got used to that too (there is one name I don't like, but it does make me laugh each time I'm called it!).

Something a little light hearted after the dissertation stuff and the God stuff. Comes from the fact that we were talking about welcome questions in Cell last night and the purpose of the welcome question for different groups.

Also was wondering about what it means to be me, to have my identity found in God. I don't have to impress anyone because God is in me and thats all that matters. Hmmmm, if it was that easy...

Diss-ed

Done! It's over. All the hard work of the past 5 months finished and handed in yesterday afternoon (and I'm in the process of publishing it so you can read it).

Was abit of an anti-climax to be honest. You'd think that there might be a big fan-fare and party involved. But no, I handed it in and sat in the Chaplaincy for a bit before going to buy a skirt I'd promised myself long ago (I'm saving the shoes to go with it until after the exams). And today is a day off of uni work at least, getting a proper day off on Saturday.

I still have so much to do. 2 exams and an essay. But you know all about that.

So nearly there

One last trip to the lovely person known only to you as my dissertation supervisor, then it's to the binders for erm... binding. (I'm stressed about it on the inside, my back all seized up on Sunday night and the consequence is being unable to sit still for long amounts of time - it really hurts)

I will post a link to 'it' and you can all have a quick read. Although at 10,000 words I'm not sure how quick is quick.

Been reading the story after Penetcost this week. I only read Acts 3 v 1-10 and the enthusiasm from Matt Summerfield about telling youth about Jesus came back to me. Shame it was at 11.30 last night!

Wherever I go next year I know I'm going to take as many opportunities as I can to talk about how great Jesus is. Unfortunately there is still a large amount to be decided about where I am going to go.

I have the choice of Wales right now. That is the only place I've been offered a job. Most people know I could stay in Luton. But I'm still unsure. I have until the 17th June to decide to apply.

I have my YFC interview on 14th June. The guy from eta recruitment is coming to the Luton offices for a meeting, so I'm having a 9am interview. Luckily enough uni finishes 4 days before that so I will have pleanty of sleeping time.

Ok, I'm off to pay for my tickets to Kidderminster on the 3rd!

It is not my job to worry

Just to keep you up to date on the Dissertation.

The uni launched a new Youth Justice Module this weekend. Great news for the uni and Prof John Pitts, not so great news for the students that get pushed to the bottom of the pile due to press conferences etc!

So I heard from my supervisor this afternoon, a full 3 days late. 3 precious days that could have been spent editing and putting together and getting on with the next thing. But it is ok, as it's not my job to worry about it.

So I can 'let go and let GOD'. Please don't get me started on the cliche that fronts this very important idea for a Christian.

They way my brain is working now mimics a man's (I do realise I'm am just about to generalise), one task at a time or total melt down.

Luckily I'm dealing in small goals and remembering not to wake up in the middle of the night with ideas!

As it is not my job to worry, I will leave my year out options with God and be fully aware that I'm doing his will.

Even if that means I stay in Luton... (don't ask)

Worship

We've been talking alot about how worship is an attitude rather than an action or a song.

The weekend away included a seminar on Worship given by a lady from the London School of Theology. She was very good, however, this is something ou can listen to time and time again and not actually apply it to your life.

Do you know what I mean?

I know its a fundamental thing that you learn slowly over the course of your life with God.

I've come back again to "Karen, Karen, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42. Which occured to me in November, I think that God can do this. Bringing you back to the place you need to be in.

God knows where I'm going next year, and I know that where ever I go my outside appearance will be very important for the first few weeks. I also need to learn about what trips off my tongue.

I used a very harsh word to describe some one I love the other day. I now feel really bad that I did that without thinking. I said sorry to God and I have to say sorry to the person as well.

God has also brought me back to the way I talk about my youth group when I'm angry with them. They don't respect us some days and apparently that gives the leaders the right to not care.

I know I can tell my peers to be quiet in a way where they will be quiet pretty quickly, but when it comes to 14 year olds they just fight back. God reminded me that its all about giving Love even when you aren't receiving any.

We have to be actively involved in changing for God. If I try and do it in my own strength and in a new place, surely I'm more likely to fail?

Why not now, in the place where I've lived for 3 years? Its one of those doh! moments!

Also the lady from LST said something about 'Jesus is my boyfriend' songs, made me laugh but on the serious side, I think song writers and singers need to evaluate their view of Jesus and how they love Him.

As always I'm interested in your comments...

CU Weekend away

All I can say is we had a great time meeting God and learning about Holiness at Elmfield Church in North Harrow.

Katy did an excellent job talking about parts of 1 Peter and we had a brilliant time playing lots of games on saturday evening. Hopefully soon there will be a link to the CU/SU website.

God has been convicting us all alot. To quote Peter we are a "chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light" 1 Peter 2:9

How can we deny this opportunity to be holy? God calls us to be holy, we need to step up to that calling...

Questions

How do you talk to some one if they profess to listen only to GOD?

How do you encourage some one if they don't want personal comments or criticism?

How do you deal with some one who is a false teacher with worl wide acclaim?

And the most desperate of all...

How do you pray for this person?

Comments please, I think I'm at my wits end and in deeper than I care to imagine!

Well done 02

Yeay! O2 are great for once! I complained about having to ring them to fix a problem that can't be fixed (yes, I'm still getting a media message 3 weeks on) and they have refunded me £6. Which has made my bill a grand total of £39! First time ever it's been that low.

I say that, but I actually wanted 02 to refund me all the cost (about £7.50) I can't complain that I got charged. I'm ok by it. I think I'll give the £6 away.


Cell social was good last night. Its good to know that there are people in Luton I can hang out with, make a fool of myself in front of (I nearly lost my shoe in the mud) and laugh with so easily.

We went to a little village called Preston in Herts and went for a walk before sitting in the pub. We walked through a wood covered in Bluebells and Christine picked me some flowers, which smelt lovely, but made my eyes itch. I think we're gonna have a hot summer and hayfever will be rife.

We sat in the pub and chatted about all things, discovering an inch worm in the flowers and taking pictures with out the flash. The whole pub looked up when a phone rang and the bar lady was less than nice about it! But we made our own entertainment :-D

Then we got back to Luton and had cake for Nick's birthday. Was a great evening. Will take the memory wherever I'm going next year!

4 to go!

Not hours, not days, but assignments/exams before uni is complete. Scary eh?

I got my exam 'timetable', the farce that it is, this morning (was supposed to be published on Friday).

I have 2 exams this semester. Joy of joys.

Health Psychology (oh so helpfully) is at 6pm (and it lasts for 2 hours) on 6th June. Can I get a chorus of 'harsh!' please?

Exceptional Children is at 1.30pm on 8th June. This one is two hours too! Ha ha.

So that is it everyone. On the 8th of June at approximately 3.30pm I will be finished Uni and will only have to be in Luton for the joy of being here, oh and all the weddings.

Oh, and did I mention that I shall be travelling to Kidderminister on the Friday before and not returning to Luton until the evening of the Sunday? No, wel I am. Talk about timing. At least cell on the 8th will be a big relief, as opposed to a nervous wreck.

Well, I've never had to wait for the marking of a dissertation before. This could be interesting.