7 things...

Things to do before I die

Go to Germany
Read the whole Bible
Be a bridesmaid
Learn a musical instrument
Be in a management position
Drive a mini-bus
Be a bride

Things I cannot do

Back away from a challenge
Tolerate rubbish music
Eat waterchestnuts
Stay calm in a stressful situation
Drive a tank
Sit really still
Drink tea

Things I say most often

Rubbish
Uh huh
Oi
Yeah ok
Er no, not really
*Cough*
Love ya really

Books I love

Whats So Amazing About Grace
Bible
Famous Five
Curious Incident Of A Dog In The Night-time
The Reader
Book Of Tells
The Vision of 24/7 Prayer

Movies I could watch over and over

10 Things I Hate About You
Billy Elliot
Monsoon Wedding
Princess Diaries
Finding Nemo
Titanic
Pirates Of The Caribbean

All time albums

Living Loud - Soul Survivor 2004
O - Damien Rice
Room For Squares - John Mayer
Almost There - MercyMe
Allow Us To Be Frank - Westlife
White Ladder - David Gray
Facedown - Matt Redman

People to do this next

Jana
Tasha
Michael
Liz
Peter
John
Jude (And hundreds of others in their heads who won't admit it)

Wow, that was well hard... I guess that when you get asked a question its hard to answer from your heart.

Hope you all had a great christmas. I've now recovered from raging tonsilitis, and will be in Luton soon.

Am ill

Immune system is shot to bits. Doctor told me this morning.

I go to all the trouble of changing my doctor from Billericay to Cardiff, and in an instant I'm back in Billericay seeing the doctor who I saw when I left Billericay for the first time three years ago!!

Oh, and I had the same problem.

If it carries on like this I shall be in hospital having my tonsils out, joy.

Well back to bed for me as there is nothing else major to report!

Nearly home

Well, I'm half way through the penultimate working day of the year.

Having lots of fun finishing off little taks for the year and making sure I have no work to do when I leave the office tomorrow.

Had a review a week a go and its all good for the moment. Time table is definitely changing, so hopefully be doing more youthwork and less random things.

And you know what I finish with this year: admin!

Rubbish...

But can't complain, one day I'll write a report on my spiritual gifts and you'll understand why!

Oh and by the way, the trainees office was pitted against two other offices this morning in the decorating competition, and we won!!! How fantastic is that!?!

Nadolig

Maybe I should stop opening my posts with random Welsh words.

This one is Christmas.

I'm having problem stringing sentences together. Welsh is just a backwards to me as German is, or in fact any other language that is not my own. How arrogant am I?

Feel free to answer that, I'm not afraid!

Cariad

Or Love if you are english.

This isn't going to be a soppy post.

Just wanted to say I've seen a lot of people do a lot of things they love doing and I have loads of respect for them.

The teacher who continues to teach even though he's got searing pain running up and down his leg.

The girl who hangs out with her friends knowing that her back really hurts and she should be in bed.

The youth leaders who tirelessly work through 4 hours of prep to produce a meal for 25 people.

We all do tough things for love, ultimately displayed through Jesus dying on the Cross.

I now know a little bit of the pain felt when man rejects God time and time again. It's so painful.

Wales Picture!

All of the guys from the course I'm on.
A couple have gone home now and we really miss them.
It's been a good 3 months and I'm glad I have so many friends already.
Top L-R: Matt, Nick, Stella, Rach, Josh, Rob
Front l-R: Ruth Bishop, Ali, Me! Robert, Ruth M, Jeff, Ruth D

Gutted

Absolutely...

I start work at 5pm on Sunday and Songs of Praise starts at 5.10pm. But don't worry you lovely Luton people, you will be my Christmas surprise... my mum will hopefully be recording it!!

I'm so excited!

It's been long

Another long week over with and just a step closer to Christmas.

The good news is I have an advent calendar, it's a non-chocolate one and tells the christmas story. Apparently thats no good, I could argue with that a lot, but I don't think I'll bother right now, you get the idea.

It was Rachel's birthday yesterday, we had a laugh and a good meal. We were gonna go outdoor ice staking but lack of people meant it wasn't worth us going.

I also had to say good bye to two good friends. It's funny how some one can affect your life in such a short space of time, which is made more intense by the fact you only see them twice a week.

I've bonded really well with everyone here in Cardiff and I'm so glad we have God in common, with out that I think it would be a big struggle.

I've started looking for jobs, so I'm about to go and enquire... keep praying for me!

Fantastic!

I had another great weekend.

I've worked hard and had some fun right at the end of it. I got to dance and jump around because I love Jesus, something that got me funny looks (and that was from all Christian young people).

Quite strange.

Any way, God is great to me and I'm gearing up for doing some hard-core youth work over the run up to Christmas.

Could be working with Young Offenders in the next year, should be very exciting! Can't wait to put my all into everything again.

Which means I am fully recoverd from the cold I had, yeay!

It snowed so I got a day off

Yes, thats right.

The 'pass' up to the valleys was snowed under this morning. So all the hard work I could have done today...

... will still unfortunately happen. Meetings at church that I wasn't going to be at, now I'm here I have to go.

I have letters to write and cars to fix. Joy of joys!

Weekend Awaaaaaaaaaay!

Wow, I just had the most fun going back to Luton for the weekend. Saw lots and lots of people as I was just leaving which makes me ask why the weekend has to stop just as people come together on a Sunday evening for Church.

But nevermind! I saw all the people who wanted to see me and got to stay at my old house, which is much changed.

Its all fantastic though.

If you come across this and you are in Luton this week, please go along to the uni as the CU are there on Mission this week. They need all the help and prayer support they can get.

Thanks to everyone who was around at the weekend (too many to name, but you all played a significant part in my trip). I had such a good time seeing you all and catching up, only if it was for 30 seconds or a whole afternoon.

You guys are great, keep going strong for God wherever you are and who ever you are talking to. Don't be distracted by those around you.

Well, back to work, but not after I've done some 'me' maintenance.

Winter cold!

I'm sitting at home wallowing in my own pity...

I got the morning off seeing as yesterday was a long day. I started at 7 am and didn't finish til 3am. It made the cold I've got worse. I'm just about to get up properly and get chicken soup for lunch, yum!

You might be enquiring as to why I had such a long day yesterday. Two reasons really Dad and Christine. I had the opportunity to go to St Albans with Church on tour and being that side of the country these two lovely people came to see me!

We had a good chat and I did my job. It was really refreshing.

God is so good to me and the people around me.

I can't wait to see everyone, hopefully by then I will have shaken off this cold and had a bit more sleep.

It's Christmas...

Don't worry, haven't gone insane just yet. But I have started to get irritated about the insistent Christmas talk among the team and various shops all decked out with Christmas trees.

The only thing that makes me feel vaugely Christmassy is the cold that has crept up on me and hit me over the head this morning. Feeling rough.

However on the bright side it is only a day until I go to St Albans and less than a week til I go to Luton.

I'm very excited, so if you are around next weekend, I'll be there, hopefully with out a cold.

I'm also very close to finishing module two of the course I'm on, just two more things to do, and here I am procrastinating as much as I possibly can.

If any one mentions Christmas shopping they will get sneezed on!!

Michael, I have two words for you: oh dear!

Bumps and Babies

Found a niche in the Cardiff market.

Offering myself as an in house baby-sitter/heavy lifter (not the children, the furniture) during a mums and tots group. So I had fun this morning.

Finding joy in the little things, like not getting covered in paint even though I was in charge of craft!

It remains to be seen if I will fill this niche permenantly, but I'm sure up until the holidays I will be quite happy there.

Back to my Welsh dictionary:

bore da! (borey daa)- good morning

llan - church/parish/village/yard

cyn (kin) - before

pont - bridge

pridd - earth/soil/mould/ground (so I don't really get why a place is called pont-y-pridd)

I think thats enough for this week, any words you desperately want to know I'll try and get them, but no promises!

Hello there!

Hi everybody!

Have had a busy week. But its been really good.

I've started to get a big passion for Cardiff thanks to God and Philip Jinadu. Its great to beable to pray into hundreds of situations in the city, whilst being focussed.

That came at the end of a long day, but the next day was even better, now I can do CPR! And I'll have a certificate for that too.

How exciting is this year turning out to be!! And in 8 days I'm going on tour with a few people to St Albans. There are people I have to remind, but it'll be so great to see everyone.

We went to see the firworks at Caerphilly castle on Saturday night, and taught the American guys who are on our course about the tradition!

I love teaching and organising people. I'm starting to feel like a bit of an adult, with this whole 'saying no' thing as well. It's so fun!!

Any way... moving on to more serious things.

Please can you pray for:

1. My house - its up for sale and my house mate can sell it we get to live in a bigger house in a nicer area. She's really stressed about it, but she knows God has his hand on it. We all need a bit of peace
2. The team car - as much as its a blessing we're having issues with responsibility and routine still. And its broken a lot in the past 6 weeks, so the devil is definitely trying it on!
3. My sister and her fiancee - as if you didn't already know
4. Money for next term - as of yet don't have any...

They are a few things, I'll keep you informed. I forget some times that I have prayer support, I'm sorry.

1st Qualification

Wohoo, just got back from Hereford, and after 4 days intensive training (well 2 days in one week then a 2 week break) I am accredited to Oasis Esteem Training intiative.

So thats fun. I'll go to Porth on Friday and let them know, then I'll be let loose on unsuspecting teenagers and get to talk about sex lots... yes, I am scared.

Apologies also for being absent for a while. Net has been down at work and half term holiday at school increases work load, not decreases.

Oh well, check out Liz's for some exciting news...

Prayer Letters

Autumn Prayer Letter and Connect Prayer Letter.

Have fun reading and praying for all these lovely people.

I've had a good week, topped of with a booked weekend away! I'm so excited. I'll let you know where I'll be going!

And by the way: God is greater than you will ever know, he's just blessed me amazingly. I hope he can do the same for you!

New Links

So here are the links for a dissertation and a letter.

Don't worry I'll put a permanent link on the side bar, which will go to a different place, but you'll be able to get othe pdf's of my latest support letter later on!

Cov Weekend

Just got in from a very busy weekend.

Lots of hours spent on the train on Saturday meant I got to see roughly 30 people (including the Carters and some random people!) I know from Luton and YfC.

It was very exciting, for some reason I woke up very nervous and spent most of the train jouney reading to try and calm myself down. Didn't work. But once I'd seen Christine I was ok.

So the day went on. Kurios were fantastic this year. Really enojoyed their set, no tenuos links either! Very imprressed.

Got home really early because I was feeling exhausted.

Sunday was good, harder than before. Two groups that think talking is fantastic and should be done all the time.

Then got in this morning and had a prayer meeting with the team. So its all good.

Spoiled!

Thats describing you by the way.

You've heard a lot from me this week. But this is just a quick note to say that I've finished the first 1/3 of sex ed training. I won't talk about the pictures but I think you get the drift.

I also won't get very serious about it. Its harsh knowing the damage sleeping around can do.

On a lighter note, I'm off to Coventry tomorrow. I'm so excited about seeing yfc and everyone!

I'm sure you'll get a report soon...

Responsible

Yes, I found out that I can be responsible. I was in a discipline position yesterday and to my amazement it worked (for a little bit).

Its all good, apart from the lack of kick boxing due to meetings. But I shall not fail to go next week, although it absolutely kills. Does make the LibertyX DVD seem very feeble.

And the joys of early mornings, tomorrow we start at 8 which means getting a bus at 7.15. Coffee on the go I think.

Just have to do a link, follow it, you might be quite surprised.


More from the Welsh phrase book:

araf - slow

allanfa - exit

coed - wood

Ty - house

caerdydd - Cardiff

ddinas - centre

N.B. "dd" is th, caer is care and coed is coyd (not co-ed like the americans pronounced it the other day!)

I live in a dangerous place

The car nearly got broken into last night, whilst it was parked outside someones house (not mine). So not only is the passenger side wing mirror off, but the lock on the same side is now very broken.

Its very very sad, but I'm also becoming more and more convinced of God's ability to protect us all the time. He's fantastic! For some reason the person gave up trying to break in and I'm very glad that they did, that car has a lot of sentimental value to the people we are borrowing it from.

I now have a timetable also. Consists of time-off and preparation time. But in Church work there is no such thing as 9 til 5 and I'm more likely to be doing 9 til 9 or later.

In other news, by Christmas I might be a 'right little ninja' with the flexibility of a cat. I've been to kick boxing once! It hurt, but I'll go along again soon.

This week also consists of being prayed for by old people, sex ed training in Hereford and going to Coventry for commissioning. I'm well excited!

My weekly visits

Hello. It's been another busy week here. I'm just waiting for a routine to set in now. We get our timetables this morning.

Teams still good. Very happy to know these guys and getting on well with them all.

Just waiting for the opportunity to get properly stuck in and start to take ownership of some stuff. We did get a swipe key to the building this morning. So now I can get in with out feeling like a vistor. Looks like I'm gonna be here on a permanent basis.

I'm also looking at doing a masters soon. Not for next year (it costs a lot) but in the next few years definitely.

I'm keeping on with the prayer thing.

This could just be it!

Hello, sorry I have been prety much non-existent this week. Lots on and now my manager has come back from her honeymoon, so even more work on our plates.

And I've just been given the opportunity to do some sex ed training with Oasis for next year. Very helpful learning experience.

So there you go, I'm very happy at the moment. The only thing that is really getting me down is the fact that I'm so far away from everyone at home. But that will all change pretty soon as I'm taking my day off to see some special people.

Have realised though that anywhere from here is pretty distant. 4 hours home, 4 hours to Luton and at least an hour to Cheltenham. Hopefully those are all trips I will be doing soon.

Seen God at work a lot recently. I was up in the South Wales Valleys yesterday, and did some major thanking of God for my experience at Luton Uni. If you want to know just ask, its a bit hard to explain some times.

So we're starting a school outreach up there on Friday, I've got the opportunity to lead a youth (11-14's) cell group every other Sunday and base the work I do in the 11-18's range. God is being very good to me.

By the way Michael - I'm in Cardiff, they 'forget' the c in ll! I think they are just being lazy!

Another Monday Morning

So this is how it feels to be up and about on a Monday! I haven't done a full weeks work for a while and now I know how it feels.

So far its been good. I'm starting to find my way around and even got a lift into work this morning, so we left 25 mins later and were still (pretty much) on time. As in any city, traffic in Cardiff in the morning is harsh. Lots of buses in the way and mad people generally.

Had an amazingly short staff meeting. That's it for this week so far.

Last night I went to Pubchurch and I think that where I might go back to. There are some good people ther, including one girl I've met before, although she was touring so she doesn't remember me. It was good to see so many individuals coming together and we had a laugh.

This afternooon I'm on Admin duty, and tomorrow we're prayer walking around Llanedeyrn (lan-ed-in - I'm starting a welsh phrase book). Much fun!

Rude Bus Drivers

Every one else in cardiff is great. Really helpful, always wanting to politely correct a random English girl who has no idea where she is going and what she is saying.

Apart from one. A bus driver who is generally unable to be helpful at any point. I've met him twice now and both times he's charged my flat mate and I extra to get to church in the morning.

It's solved now. We got given a bus pass today. Lovely, no more bad pronounciation from me!

Been to two groups and so far am very excited to be part of a fantastic family.

(Sorry, I promised to post letters and disertation and never got round to it. I'll do it soon. Dad if you are listening can you send me instructions on how to .pdf stuff)

Wales

Would be more imaginative, but I've had a long, long day. And I'm only here for reasons of youth group that is later on tonight.

I met the team and got the timetable for the next three weeks this morning. Very interesting to see who is who and who is doing what.

Did you know buses in Cardiff town centre don't give change? I was stunned this morning to find that out (I did have the exact amonut in my purse which makes me think Jesus does want me to be here). Oh well I get a bus pass on Wednesday.

Keep praying for me and sending me encouragements, mail amd email. I now have enough money for the first term's installment, thanks to everyone and GOD (its the 2nd and 3rd I'm now praying into).

Have to go and eat, have more coffee and set up for my first youth club of the year.

No Sex Please

I don't know if you caught the programme on BBC2 last night called 'No sex please we're teenagers'. Personally I thought it was a good idea for todays culture to see. Its not often teenagers get their attitudes and values challenged.

With all the religious hatred stuff around I was really impressed that the programme producers decided to leave in Dan and Rachael praying at the start.

This was the first programme out of three and already one guy has been touched by the Holy Spirit. God has done amazing things to get this programme on air and if you are near a telly next tuesday at 9pm switch it to BBC2. The next one should be interesting.

Falling asleep

Seeing as the pub is still broken, there will be no work for me until it is fixed, which could be after I leave.

I'm very sad. I'm gonna miss the pub a lot. I know it was only 5 weeks, but I seem to have got attached very quickly. Maybe it's the nice people I work with, or the opinionated regulars, I don't know. I will be sad if I don't get to go and say goodbye.

Had my final Church service in Billericay today. Of course I'm also sad to be leaving, but there are still a lot of things to be praying for.

I still have little to no money to pay for this year out.. I'm really afraid. I know you'll come back at me saying God is everywhere and I needn't be worried. It's true, I can't argue with you there, I won't argue with God either. I'll just be praying that my head and my heart decide to start communicating soon.

Pub's Broke

Got an unintentional day off today. The Pub broke yesterday morning.

The electrics kept tripping out and the cooling fan is broken. So no cold beer which means it's frothy, and no kitchen because the drain is blocked.

The joys of running a pub. Joe, the assistant manager, was considering buying his own... maybe yesterday changed his mind.

It definitely changed mine. I forgot how some people are very stuck in their ways about what they drink. At least 3 people just walked away and 2 others compromised by buying bottled beer and complaining that they had to pay a bit extra. Shall we let the pub lose money just to keep you happy sir?

Have learnt it is better to let the customer in on the deal and let them walk away. The Kings Head got a lot of business yesterday.

I wonder what the locals said about it all...

Now knowing that I have two days off makes me want to run away somewhere. Probably ending up on a Luton door step asking for dinner, but with the pub being shut I'm not earning money. Catch 22 is a very clever thing.

Luton people: I miss you loads. I love you even more!
Wales people: 8 days to go!

We'll be...

... tired and happy

... a dancing generation

... full of God

... praying

All these things and more happened over the last couple of weeks.

Ignite 2005 was an amazing experience. More than ever before. I think God that we only had to rely on him to make the last week fantastic. Its great to see God moving in such a young generation.

Leaders will rise up from Ignite and God will be seen in all of the country, all of the time, not just in Denstone, Staffs for one week a year.

A highlight was seeing the Farmery's in the Incredibles outfits. A fitting tribute to how they have been to the church overthe last year. They are both incredible and it's very sad to see Charlie leave St Marys.

I'm praying for all the Ignite people and I'm sure that God will remain stronger than he has done.

I trust him fully. I can't give out any more, so I spent most of today receiving. Yeay for people who had sleep. Thank you for smiling and crying with me.

That's it, my final good bye to Luton.

I love you all...

Don't Joke

The Pub is great, I love working there. Today I learnt a very precious lesson...

Don't joke with the regulars before they've had a drink.

They were so sombre when they walked in. It was really quiet (that might also be because they turned the cricket off!). I didn't say a word and went back to my pint of water.

In the evening they are opinionated and happy to be that way, but not today. I went home very quickly.

Had a lovely Brendon in Billericay weekend. Learnt lots, cried some, got my heart broken. God does great things for us, I'm so glad he's with me all the time.

"We have confidence

to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus"

So why don't we?

Final Mark

I decided to wait til the end of the week to write. A lot has happened though.

On Sunday I started handing out the letters for support. I will post it up, but I need the skill to change file names and post them. One good thing comes out of lots of talking and praying. The tithe-ing group at church gifted me £500 to start me off! Yeay, thanks Jesus.

Monday Liz came back and shared exciting news about her week away. You'll find out in time what this is. I'm not at liberty to share it.

Been working and shopping since. I also have been recruited to give blood at some point, but when is my decision!

I got my degree mark as well. Of course getting it included one phone call and several follow ups. Even after two weeks of waiting I still don't have my final transcript. The first one I receive will have that I didn't hand in my dissertation.

Yep, thats right. I rang up on Tuesday morning and asked where my results were. The lady at the other end told me I'd not got a mark as my dissertation second mark hadn't arrived.

Those who know me will know I strived for ages and would not take this as the answer! Eventually I got back through to the University and was told that the mark just hadn't been put into the system. Ha ha!

All that stress for nothing. I wasted 3 hours of my life worrying for no reason.

It was amended and in September I will graduate from the University of Luton with a lower second class Bachelor of Arts degree in Criminology and Psychology. Yeay! We had champagne to celebrate.

I've persevered with reading my Bible, I'm almost back on track. God's been really good to me this week. I can only thank Him. And advise you never to shop at debenhams online... thats another story.

Getting there

Getting where I hear you ask?

Well maybe you just thought, what on earth...?

Anyway. I've nearly finished the letter of support, on draft 3 and 4. I hate a) asking for money and b) drafting.

Oh well, guess I'll just have to get on with it, I don't think the money will fall into my lap.

I started work a few days ago. If you are ever in the Crays Hill area of Essex, pop in to the Shepard and Dog. I'll probably be in there trying to work!

Comfort zones

This is where I am. Back in my little Essex comfort zone making mistakes left, right and centre. I'm not very happy with myself and my brain.

To think I can come back and be tempted to fit right in with every one. Its too easy to do.

Christians should stick out like a sore thumb for what they believe and how they act. But around me I see people who have returned to their home town only to fall back into the way that they were when they left.

I am no exception to this, but some how I feel I should be. God has done so much for me while I was at University and I feel like I've thrown it back in his face. I feel terrible.

Some one said to me as I left Luton, 'don't worry, you can love God just as much, nothing will change'. Maybe I was out to prove that person wrong so that I could go back to Luton and show them how it had changed.

Then I came across the realisation that loving God is as much a discipline as something I really want to do. Over the past year I have tried my hardest to read my Bible everyday. I struggled on some days, but I got there and was working my way through. I got home and after a week it all fell apart. I know that Bible notes don't need to be followed to the letter, as we are all individuals and interpretation is something God gave us, but how can I interpret if I don't read?

The answer is literally sitting on my desk staring me in the face. I just need to pick it up instead of wasting my time with the TV switched on.

Birthday Pics

The pictures I promised, there are more if you click on Photos in the right hand column.

Just about to go and see my grandparents. I'm running away for the tallest boy's party tonight. It's not my fault I think R'n'B white boys doing hiphop is rubbish!!

Busy Bee

The card my cell group brought me last night to say Happy Birthday and Goodbye all in one.

Pretty much sums up the last week.

The guy on case #2 was... well we couldn't actually decide. So we got discharged on Friday afternoon and we didn't have to go back. Yeay, that lead the way for what turned out to be a pretty awesome 6 days.

Saturday was weddings and parties all round. Mr and Mrs Hearing both looked fantastic, congratulations to them!! It was lovely to see them all dressed up and all their family and friends around them.

Then it was mine and Liz's 21st birthday party (pictures to follow I promise). We had a great night. Lots of dancing and drinking. Cakes made by Nan and speeches made by Dad and Andy. Laughed a lot.

Then on Sunday I did prayers with a hungover Mandy and took Selina back to Luton in time for church, which was great fun.

Monday was my actual 21st, so many presents, and lots of dancing again. I still ache lots.

Tuesday, Chris and I flew to Scotland to surprise Kurios the YFC Scotland band. That was amazing, band were good (but they had been up for 24 hours, so not perfect) and scenery was stunning. Lots of chatting with Jeff and lots of stories.

Flew back from there yesterday and had cell after dinner. Tim amd Ali sang 'kumbaya' and everyone else sang happy birthday. We prayed, watched some John Mayer and Chris has kindly put me up in her house for the night! Much appreciated.

So here I am on Thursday a full 6 days later, exhausted and happy. Couldn't have asked for anything more.

Case #2

Well, I got sworn on to another case yesterday. This one is a bit more confusing, but we go out to consider our verdict tomorrow and I think they may try to make me Forewoman! Argh!

Which also means that I probably won't be called in on friday, so I'll have time to do the shopping for mine and Liz's birthday party on Saturday! Getting more excited.

I also told the University that I would not be taking the position of Admissions administrator, so I'm definitely not going back.

Sad realisation, so I'll head off now and try to avoid talking to any one. Am very tired and quite hungry.

Lazy Sunday afternoon

Been sitting for a while wondering what to type and I have realised that whilst in Essex there's not much I do.

I go shopping, I go to church, I go to the pub, I sleep. All things that are of no interest to the outside world.

This afternoon I plan to re-new my passport and decide to whom I should write letters asking for support next year. That's going to make me feel really cheeky.

All fun and exciting, I might even be able to sit in the sunshine and do it!

Recent Events

Well, it's been a long day...

...winning the Olympics

...meeting an old acquaintance

...getting to the jury waiting room to find that London had been bombed

...coming to a decision for the lady we were trying and getting home

24 hours can be a long time or a short time depending on what you are doing.

I'm sure the G8 leaders will have a long week. Africa will still be the focus, but I'm sure that terrorism will have to be addressed in another space and time.

Dealing with one thing at once is the only way to clear a desk and head full of 'stuff'.

I have a day off tomorrow, after finishing the first case today. I praying that next week will be just as good timing wise, as if we get stuck in deliberation next Friday, my whole weekend is out the window.

Michael, I checked out 12 Angry Men trailer and I really want to watch it! Anyone have a copy?

Jury Service

I thought I might be able to leave it till the end of the week, but I got sworn into a jury this afternoon!

Just thought I'd let you know that it's rather fun.

Of course I can't tell you what case I'm on, if they find out I'll be held in contempt of court and fined or imprisoned, can't really afford either!

The psychologist in me is having a field day. It's so much fun watching people in court, their movements and their voice tone.

The criminologist is also having a great time. The pre- and mis-conceptions that people have come out in the waiting room. It made me laugh inside when my dissertation topic came up and I wanted to argue it out, but we only had a two minute break.

The judge is fantastic, sitting on his rather big bench and over seeing everything. He apologised to the members of the jury for being late, not any one else in court.

The politeness of the lawyers to each other.

And of course the many comparisons made to The Bill and other such programmes.

I love the public, they are humorous.

Implication

I'm back in Essex, after much to-ing and fro-ing, awaiting 2 weeks worth of Jury Service. Fun.

I had an excellent time at the Ignite training day yesterday. Seeing everyone and getting over excited about going to Wales afterwards. Its great fun when other people get excited as well.

We learnt a lot and are even being gifted with a book. Ok so it is 'What every volunteer youth worker should know', but that's beside the point. I'm sure this book will be helpful and I'll have a month to read it.

Went out for dinner after with a few of the girls. A good laugh. I love the way girls can chat about anything and make a long day seem really short. Praying for all of you!

Thinking about the Jesus/God thing still. Thought about the Transfiguration. But even in that God says he's 'my Son'. Implication and revelation. I'm glad that I am part of the revelation of God.

I'm aware that as Church we still get stuff wrong and we are still growing. I think we're at that adolescence stage where some parts are growing faster than others and there's that frustration that other bits aren't catching up as quickly as you'd like.

I'm in the bit that's having trouble catching up.

New Chocolate

You know that face the guy on the Revels add when he has the coffee sweet?

I found a coffee and chocolate sweet that doesn't make me pull that face and is actually quite nice. I shall be heading back to the shop where I brought it several times next year - I have found a new comfort food, yeay!

Also got set a challenge today, by a 15 year old (who's mum is a preacher) 'Show me where it says in the Bible that Jesus is God.

I couldn't actually do it off the cuff, I did have another 15 year old shouting that he was Jesus, which we all know isn't true. I don't think Jesus would ever be that cocky to his mates older sister.

Now I slowly realise John 1, and the passage about the Word. But I also need to find something that my little brother (who hasn't been to church and received communion for a while) can explain. I'll ask my Dad, he should have something up his sleve.

I can't wait to do some theological training formally. I love the fact that Jesus can teach me everyday through challenging 15 year old boys, who blatantly have nothing better to do than to wind you up.

Fantastic.

Storms

I was talking to Christine last night about being in the middle of a storm but being under cover. I can see and hear the storm, but I'm in no way getting wet, the most fantastic way to view a storm.


But don't get me wrong, I would go and dance in it if I wasn't here. I can smell it and experience it, and just like that it's gone. You know it will be sunny in a minute.


What I would really love is some dry thunder and lightning, stuff that has no rain attached, but that's hard to come across in the monsoon season.

Well at least the grass got watered and the birds have something to drink.

I found out today that the blocker that is on this computer blocks 24/7 prayer and the UCCF website, also my little random verse box. How depressing is that? Gonna chat to the administrator see what he can do about it.

Goodbye Luton, Hello Cardiff

Well that's it, officially I've left Luton and am heading in the direction of Wales.

It was good to say good bye to the church as a whole and get a 'sending off' as Nick called it. Charlie half apologised for springing it on me, little did he know Nick had warned me at the end of the morning service. They prayed for me. Thanks you guys! You are all amazingly gifted at being articulate and praying, keep it up!

Its hard to leave such a great town with all the people that I know and love. But its done now.

Saying good bye to the people who are my peers was... fun. Hugs and kisses (getting patted on the head?) all round. Sad that this kind of attention is at the end of it all. Loved it.

Well, Luton, I love you, I always will. You will be in my prayers and I will constantly be aware of God's calling over a town that has so many Godly people living in it, innit!

My personal thanks go to

• Chris - for being attached to my hip so I have a shoulder to cry on
• Mareike - attempting to re-teach me German, taking my place at the washing up bowl and loving me
• Gill - you are amazing, love the TGI's with all your heart, show them God's love, they need it
• Tasha - boys are always going to be a problem, but we can still chat about it all he time, lunch was great, keep in touch
• Michael and Nick - for being cell leaders, even thouh we were all a bit hesitant, thank you for encouraging me and teaching me
• Tim - for making countless hot chocolates and turning up to save me from my house, for all the advice you gave me
• Jude - for inspiring me to reach for the thing I think God wants me to do, and to search for my true hearts desire
• Selina - your excitablity about any thing is catching, more than glad to have your support, you can cook for me any time
• Howard - for listening to me and putting up with my chatting about issues that are revelant and irrelevant, thank you for staying in Luton
  

I know I've stopped there, I know that I've missed people. I love all of you more than I can put in words. Please continue to be you and keep talking to God about it all.

On to Cardiff, after the training and weddings... see ya around!

Manchester

I'm sitting in my hotel room watching whatever is on at this time in the morning. Liz and I are in Manchester for 3 days while we can. She goes back to Cheltenham tomorrow and I'm back in Luton for my last ever weekend.

I'm feeling very gutted as I didn't take my camera to horse riding in the peak district yesterday. We saw some beautiful sites and heard so many lambs. It was great to be surrounded by the sound of rushing water. God's creation all around. I was thinking which of my friends would come horse riding, any offers?

Liz's horse was decidedly slow, it was very funny watching her trying to control her horse, mine behaved for a change!

Got sun burnt on both my shoulders, so today we're going shopping for t-shirts and watching Tim Henman play. I think we'll find a big screen.

WLAN

I've decided I love my sister's wireless network card. I'm sitting listening to music off the net and eating breakfast in Oxford. It's great. I never thought I'd say that.

Currently visting Carrie and Dan in their new home in Oxford. I say new, they've been here nearly a year, but are well settled. It's been great to see them both and catch up, I think, depending on where I am, I'll stop here on the way back next year.

Speaking of which, YFC offered me a place, but are waiting for my references. I need to chase a few people up on that. So it's not confirmed yet, but I'll get a leter from Steve.

It's all go to Manchester this afternoon when Liz finally gets her bum in gear.

And I realised that boys timing is less than perfect. Got a phone call last night inviting me out in Luton, doh!! Why do I always become overly popular as soon as I leave a place, I don't get it!?!

Party!!

Manda's 21st Party last night. It was very fun seeing everyone dressed up. Most people made the effort. We had a good laugh.I hope there will be lots of those people making the same amount of effort in a months time.

Also went to Pete and Becky's wedding yesterday. Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Clemison. It was a fantastic ceremony, involving lots of people I knew, and I'm proud of all of them.

Heres the Bride and Groom


And Christine and myself all dressed up... kinda.


A good day had by most! Great that the sun came to join in.

All the best to those who are married or will be getting married soon.

Driving me

Well, I'm back in Essex, if ever so breifly!

I had my absolute final interview this morning, after not getting the job at the Uni. They considered me for another place on the admin staff, processing application forms.

Its a desk job - should be interesting, if God shuts this door, I shall be leaving Luton for the summer on 26th June. My last St Marys Service that day (God bless Gill who will be taking over my spot in TGI's), so if you are in Luton, please come along. I would love to see everyone all together one last time.

Had my last cell last night. I told them all I love them and have been really encouraged by the support and friendship they have offered over the last year. It's been tough and fun sometimes.

Maybe I was abit too soppy for some people, but they'll get over it.

I was talking to God last night while I was watching a movie and thinking how movies, although incredibly epic, make life seem easy on the outside. It didn't seem to take any courage for the main character to tell the girl that he liked her.

There are some people I love and I tell them every time I see them, the others I love I have real trouble telling them and there are some people I just don't love, but that's a whole other post. I wonder if there is ever a balance.

I ended up telling God I was sorry.

The last of many

Just had my YFC interview with Steve and Judy. Both great people with real hearts for mission and youth. It's great to see passionate people in Luton, even if they are only visiting!

It went well. e.t.a and yfc are both fantastic (my new word.. I keep saying it to describe stuff!). I think that I'll be doing lots of youth work and young offenders stuff next year - if I go to yfc.

Yes it's still very much undecided. So I'm sitting in Uni again, my only internet access, leaving on Friday afternoon wasn't as final as it could have been. I think moving out of the house will be hard.

I found out I'd be with a host family, some where in the country. You know when you have real positives and negatives for all your options and God tells you YOU need to make the desicion? Yeah, that's where I am.

Also realised that yfc want their teams to be very much GOD focussed than some other places, at least relationship-wise. The phrase they used was 'hold back from'. This is something I still find quite amusing, maybe I'm just really immature... Yeah, I can't work out why, so I must be immature!

So that's it. I've done all the interviews, now I really do have to make a decision.

Praying, praying very hard!

life is random

Well it is, I'm not going to argue with the iPod ad I just saw!

I'm contemplating the download of iTunes as a birthday present to myself, but I think it all balances on internet access next year. Yeah, maybe I should just stop thinking, I know!

Said goodbye to uni yesterday, by that I mean I said goodbye to most of my course mates. We're all back for graduation on the *cough* of September. No I'm not telling the date, I look rubbish in a hat!

Had a moment of sadness yesterday as well as I sat in my last Rock Solid (the Friday night youth club) realising everything is coming to an end at Luton. Will be harder to go through all my stuff later with a bin-liner.

I'm chucking out a load of stuff before I go back, it's the only way I can fit it all in the cars! Nb: the plural, I get to drive in 6 days and keep the car for a good week! Very excited. For some reason I feel more grown up having control of a car!

Also getting more excited about my birthday. Handing out invites in the next day or so, when I see people.

I have been dragged into appreciation of particular artists this year, my musical appreciation (was going to use knowledge, but that is not right!) has grown, so I'm making the most of listening on the net. Maybe that's where the iTunes thought came from... hmmm...

Interviews

Just came out of my interview for the marketing job at the university.

It was good, not horrendously bad, and being able to draw on my experiences as a Student Ambassador really helped. Still no promise of a car though :o(

And I found out this morning (whilst watching telly and doing nothing, thats right nothing!) that my YFC interview will now take place at 8.30 AM (yes, AM) next Tuesday. This my slightly dampen my chances of getting on to the team, oh well...

I'll keep in touch seeing as I'm now free!

I'm...

... a graduate!

... a scared lady.

... a child of God

... unable to prioritise correctly!

Its over, I am all of these things (and more). Now all I have to do is parade through town in a hat and gown. Oh yeah and get the results, argh!

One day i'll get round to it...

I'm back! Well, I got back on Sunday, but lack of revision for Health Psychology meant that I was retained in my house until 5.15 last night, so no internet for me!

Anyway, Kidderminster was good. I'm still on the interview stage of other things, so I'll not say much more.

It was definitely interesting to see the 3 churches if St Georges Parish there. I got to see a family in action over the weekend and visit two of the three churhces on Sunday morning. Generally a busy weekend.

Trains were a nightmare coming and going. I couldn't really get my head around how I managed to turn up late on Friday and leave so early on Sunday, but still be late back. I will not travel north on a weekend ever again, trains are horrendous!

Back to the good parts of the weekend, the vicars are really lovely. The whole parish is very welcoming and full of life, but not life that is aged between 18-30, worries me slightly. Its the syndrome that exists in any non-university town, the youth go away for the term and come back at Easter. There is that to tackle with.

Keep praying for me, I have lots to think about and revision to do.

In 26.5 hours I will have finished uni forever, hopefully!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29v11

Always good to know!

Just saying goodbye

Not for long though. I'm off to Kidderminster for my Careforce interview tomorrow afternoon. So I won't be around for a while, but I'll let you know how it all goes.

I think it'll be good to get out of Luton and to not be going home. I need this. Although my life didn't go pear-shaped last weekend, something has happened in my heart and head to make me think differently, I'm not even sure what it is. God, maybe?

Well, whatever happens this weekend I can imagine that I'll be doing a lot of praying and talking. Hopefully you guys will join me.

And there are only 8 days left of uni, to say it's odd would be an understatement.

Me shaped

After all the anxiety of the last week and building up to something that could happen, I'm afraid to say I'm still me shaped.

Nothing really happened this weekend. I cafe'd, I cleaned and I went to church. I didn't really talk to the person I needed to talk to, but you know when you have that feeling that what you want to say is totally irrelevant?

It might come up again one day, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

The cleaning part of my weekend was fun. The cell group went litter picking in the alley way behind my road. It was minging!

There were a selection of things that they dragged up and I moved with the help of others. We got an armchair, a bike, tyres, an Iceland trolley and metal grids.

Amazingly the council came and picked it up from the house we'd left it in front of. Those council guys were great, they even picked up a couple of matresses and a fridge that had been sitting futher down the road for a while. Bless them lots!

We stood around and chatted to some residents who live down the road from us while we were clearing the car park. Was great.

Only two incidents for the whole time we were picking, a nail through a shoe and some horrid, smelly tyre water splashed some ones face. But we all had a good laugh!

Enthralled

By all the wrong things.

The cricket being one of them! England have done really well over the last day and a half. I have to admit to watching it a bit mindlessly trying to avoid thinking and doing things.

I don't think I'm fully aware of how much I should be doing in the next few days. With essays to finish and final exams to revise for I know I'm actively avoiding all the things that will further my education. I know it's a loop I can get out of so easily. Now to just kick my self into action...

Social action in fact! our cell are going to litter pick tomorrow. Should be fun! Suddenly not afraid to talk about Jesus, if it means I don't have to do any uni work... theres something wrong there.

Ice cream, chocolate fondant icing (heated) and malteasers

I have found the perfect cure for anything. All thanks to Miriam and the above combination. Yes, you do stay awake for a while after but it does mean that the pain in my shoulder went away long enough for me to fall asleep and still be asleep when the alarm went off this morning.

This combination is also a known cure for unity problems in CU and boredom. Normally the result is lots of giggling.

Having been kindly reminded I have til Sunday, I'm very scared. My life could all go a little pear shaped, but I'm praying about it.

Who needs my mercy?

The question asked of us by Jude at last night's service.

The whole thing was very good. I was thinking about how we judge and why, especially since I got called up for Jury Duty on the 4th July! Obviously I'm not overly impressed with the timing of this. It means I can't get a job this summer, which would only be geared towards paying off my overdraft.

Nevermind I know that God has got something in store for me over those two weeks and I'm sure that I'll find something to do to earn enough to go to Ignite.

I was back in Essex for most of Saturday for Dad's birthday, so spent a large amount of time on Sunday walking around in a bit of a daze and dropping stuff (no damaged caused and lots of laughs had at my incapability to do stuff). I have forgotten how exhausting travelling and being part of a family is.

As uni enters its last three weeks and I have approximately 5 weeks left in Luton, I will keep you informed as to where I will be and what I will be doing in the summer.

Do you love your name?

I love my name. I respond to my middle name just as much as my first name. I don't get why people don't like the name they were given.

I don't like being called someone elses name, but being a twin, I've got used to that too (there is one name I don't like, but it does make me laugh each time I'm called it!).

Something a little light hearted after the dissertation stuff and the God stuff. Comes from the fact that we were talking about welcome questions in Cell last night and the purpose of the welcome question for different groups.

Also was wondering about what it means to be me, to have my identity found in God. I don't have to impress anyone because God is in me and thats all that matters. Hmmmm, if it was that easy...

Diss-ed

Done! It's over. All the hard work of the past 5 months finished and handed in yesterday afternoon (and I'm in the process of publishing it so you can read it).

Was abit of an anti-climax to be honest. You'd think that there might be a big fan-fare and party involved. But no, I handed it in and sat in the Chaplaincy for a bit before going to buy a skirt I'd promised myself long ago (I'm saving the shoes to go with it until after the exams). And today is a day off of uni work at least, getting a proper day off on Saturday.

I still have so much to do. 2 exams and an essay. But you know all about that.

So nearly there

One last trip to the lovely person known only to you as my dissertation supervisor, then it's to the binders for erm... binding. (I'm stressed about it on the inside, my back all seized up on Sunday night and the consequence is being unable to sit still for long amounts of time - it really hurts)

I will post a link to 'it' and you can all have a quick read. Although at 10,000 words I'm not sure how quick is quick.

Been reading the story after Penetcost this week. I only read Acts 3 v 1-10 and the enthusiasm from Matt Summerfield about telling youth about Jesus came back to me. Shame it was at 11.30 last night!

Wherever I go next year I know I'm going to take as many opportunities as I can to talk about how great Jesus is. Unfortunately there is still a large amount to be decided about where I am going to go.

I have the choice of Wales right now. That is the only place I've been offered a job. Most people know I could stay in Luton. But I'm still unsure. I have until the 17th June to decide to apply.

I have my YFC interview on 14th June. The guy from eta recruitment is coming to the Luton offices for a meeting, so I'm having a 9am interview. Luckily enough uni finishes 4 days before that so I will have pleanty of sleeping time.

Ok, I'm off to pay for my tickets to Kidderminster on the 3rd!

It is not my job to worry

Just to keep you up to date on the Dissertation.

The uni launched a new Youth Justice Module this weekend. Great news for the uni and Prof John Pitts, not so great news for the students that get pushed to the bottom of the pile due to press conferences etc!

So I heard from my supervisor this afternoon, a full 3 days late. 3 precious days that could have been spent editing and putting together and getting on with the next thing. But it is ok, as it's not my job to worry about it.

So I can 'let go and let GOD'. Please don't get me started on the cliche that fronts this very important idea for a Christian.

They way my brain is working now mimics a man's (I do realise I'm am just about to generalise), one task at a time or total melt down.

Luckily I'm dealing in small goals and remembering not to wake up in the middle of the night with ideas!

As it is not my job to worry, I will leave my year out options with God and be fully aware that I'm doing his will.

Even if that means I stay in Luton... (don't ask)

Worship

We've been talking alot about how worship is an attitude rather than an action or a song.

The weekend away included a seminar on Worship given by a lady from the London School of Theology. She was very good, however, this is something ou can listen to time and time again and not actually apply it to your life.

Do you know what I mean?

I know its a fundamental thing that you learn slowly over the course of your life with God.

I've come back again to "Karen, Karen, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42. Which occured to me in November, I think that God can do this. Bringing you back to the place you need to be in.

God knows where I'm going next year, and I know that where ever I go my outside appearance will be very important for the first few weeks. I also need to learn about what trips off my tongue.

I used a very harsh word to describe some one I love the other day. I now feel really bad that I did that without thinking. I said sorry to God and I have to say sorry to the person as well.

God has also brought me back to the way I talk about my youth group when I'm angry with them. They don't respect us some days and apparently that gives the leaders the right to not care.

I know I can tell my peers to be quiet in a way where they will be quiet pretty quickly, but when it comes to 14 year olds they just fight back. God reminded me that its all about giving Love even when you aren't receiving any.

We have to be actively involved in changing for God. If I try and do it in my own strength and in a new place, surely I'm more likely to fail?

Why not now, in the place where I've lived for 3 years? Its one of those doh! moments!

Also the lady from LST said something about 'Jesus is my boyfriend' songs, made me laugh but on the serious side, I think song writers and singers need to evaluate their view of Jesus and how they love Him.

As always I'm interested in your comments...

CU Weekend away

All I can say is we had a great time meeting God and learning about Holiness at Elmfield Church in North Harrow.

Katy did an excellent job talking about parts of 1 Peter and we had a brilliant time playing lots of games on saturday evening. Hopefully soon there will be a link to the CU/SU website.

God has been convicting us all alot. To quote Peter we are a "chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light" 1 Peter 2:9

How can we deny this opportunity to be holy? God calls us to be holy, we need to step up to that calling...

Questions

How do you talk to some one if they profess to listen only to GOD?

How do you encourage some one if they don't want personal comments or criticism?

How do you deal with some one who is a false teacher with worl wide acclaim?

And the most desperate of all...

How do you pray for this person?

Comments please, I think I'm at my wits end and in deeper than I care to imagine!

Well done 02

Yeay! O2 are great for once! I complained about having to ring them to fix a problem that can't be fixed (yes, I'm still getting a media message 3 weeks on) and they have refunded me £6. Which has made my bill a grand total of £39! First time ever it's been that low.

I say that, but I actually wanted 02 to refund me all the cost (about £7.50) I can't complain that I got charged. I'm ok by it. I think I'll give the £6 away.


Cell social was good last night. Its good to know that there are people in Luton I can hang out with, make a fool of myself in front of (I nearly lost my shoe in the mud) and laugh with so easily.

We went to a little village called Preston in Herts and went for a walk before sitting in the pub. We walked through a wood covered in Bluebells and Christine picked me some flowers, which smelt lovely, but made my eyes itch. I think we're gonna have a hot summer and hayfever will be rife.

We sat in the pub and chatted about all things, discovering an inch worm in the flowers and taking pictures with out the flash. The whole pub looked up when a phone rang and the bar lady was less than nice about it! But we made our own entertainment :-D

Then we got back to Luton and had cake for Nick's birthday. Was a great evening. Will take the memory wherever I'm going next year!

4 to go!

Not hours, not days, but assignments/exams before uni is complete. Scary eh?

I got my exam 'timetable', the farce that it is, this morning (was supposed to be published on Friday).

I have 2 exams this semester. Joy of joys.

Health Psychology (oh so helpfully) is at 6pm (and it lasts for 2 hours) on 6th June. Can I get a chorus of 'harsh!' please?

Exceptional Children is at 1.30pm on 8th June. This one is two hours too! Ha ha.

So that is it everyone. On the 8th of June at approximately 3.30pm I will be finished Uni and will only have to be in Luton for the joy of being here, oh and all the weddings.

Oh, and did I mention that I shall be travelling to Kidderminister on the Friday before and not returning to Luton until the evening of the Sunday? No, wel I am. Talk about timing. At least cell on the 8th will be a big relief, as opposed to a nervous wreck.

Well, I've never had to wait for the marking of a dissertation before. This could be interesting.

Meetings...

... with the dissertation supervisor!

You will be pleased to know that we finally caught up with each other and she's happy with what I've written. I never thought I would be up to 8,600 words by now. I have a Health Psychology critique and this to finish and then I've only got 3 things left. Two exams and an essay and my degree is complete!

Sounds like a lot of work, argh! Its ok though, because God is in control and I don't mind working the whole of Saturday so I can have Monday's bank holiday chilling with my house mates. We may even stretch ourselves to a BBQ... if it doesn't rain.

I feel like I have more to say, but I don't know what it is. I guess I'm a mixture of happiness and nerves right now. That is a place I do like being. I love the idea that I'm nearly at the end of my degree, but that also means that I'm close to finding out where I'll be next year.

I'm excited about the summer. I'm hopefully going to meet lots of people, what ever happens and concrete more friendships. I think it might be because the sun is shining right now and I have a night off from TGI's. There's a big sense of hope and peace in my life (with out sounding really hippie)!

You'll be happy to know...

... I've reached 8,000 words for my dissertation, and luckily I'm no where near finished!

That may sound weird, but I have reached this special place of my minimum word limit all by my self... (there's that song again, why does it keep coming up?) She's gone again, the dissertation supervisor that is. I saw her for all of 5 mins on Friday, where she told me that there's been a study in Beford proving girl gangs and violence is all moral panic (only exists in people's heads e.g extreme terrorism). I did actually get excited again.

Great I have my conclusion, or there abouts, and I can't get the article to write about it. Argh! The excitement died. And no emails either.

Why do we keep missing each other? Did she forget her keys again? Am I ever gonna stop talking? Will I survive a night in with Liz and Henry, or will God save me?

All these questions and more maybe answered later, if I have the time!

Nervousness

I know that in 10 mins I have to go home and finish writing the presentation I started writing on Saturday morning. I think I'm nervous about doing it.

It's my 2nd presentation this term and I'm not sure that it'll be any good. I think that I could probably get away with it, but then I realised it is to a whole class of older people. All the other presentations I've ever done are to a smaller seminar.

Maybe that’s why I chose to do it so late in the year. Oh well, it has to be done and I have to get a mark.


Blogger have introduced the 'recover post' feature, and I'm not sure I like it. I haven't had to use it yet, but I have noticed how slow typing has become as the cookie system deals with saving each individual letter. Half my sentences take an extra half a second to appear. I maybe annoyed because my attention span is minimal right now, but it doesn't help if you are teaching yourself to touch type!

Anyway, I'll stop complaining now and tell you how my 'Did Jesus exist?' talk went. All in all it was really good. I have enjoyed working with Charlie and the TGI’s for the last 2 or so years. I realised how much I love getting excited about Jesus. He’s amazing! I hope that they went away thinking about who Jesus is and how they know him; they just need to apply him to their own lives.

I even asked them what they thought of me. I got one negative answer, and they don’t recognise me as a leader with out prompting. I couldn’t work out if that was positive or negative. But the idea was that they know me because I’m there, Jesus was there too. Putting the Bible in to their lives inspires me so much.

I wasn’t really challenged when I was younger, but I do relish challenges. I love God because he wants me to feel uncomfortable. I love God because he will comfort me when it all goes wrong.

It has been a good few days. Just work from university to do now. The next time I write about TGI’s I will no longer have dissertation issues, because I’ll have handed it in!

Biscuits and Circuses

This is the sunset I promised from yesterday. There are more here.

The title comes from the name of the cell I am currently a member of at St Mary's, but it also ties it to where I was last night.

I went to see the Moscow State Circus. It was so much fun to laugh with the girls and see some very talented individuals at work.

Really enjoyed forgetting the fact that I had a lot of work to do. But during the performance my little brother asked me (via text) if I would be at home at all this term. He wants the family to go out for dinner. I can't go back and I'm absolutely gutted. Now comes the time where I have to convince him to come and see me. A trip on the M25 and M1 should be interesting for him!

I will se my dissertation supervisor eventually, it transpires that she forgot her keys yesterday. Bless! I know how it feels to be that stressed, I've forgotten my keys once this week too.

Off to do some work for next Friday's presentation and try to pull some Alpha facts in to Sunday's talk.

To write or not to write...

I could leave this post blank and let you decide what should be discussed...

Or a could just chat away to you about nothing significant.

I think I may be too much of a talker to decide the first one

I did go and see my dissertation supervisor an houir ago, as planned, but she wasn't there. Thinking about going up now to check I had the right timje. If she's not there I'll email her.

Did Jesus really exist? Comments please. I have to sell Jesus to the 11-14's on Sunday. I'm gonna go and see charlie in a minute and see what he has to say.

So far the extent of the answers have been 'yes - of course' and 'no'. Two ends of the extreme. Could I get something a little more in depth?

I took some pictures of the sunset on Sunday and Monday, I'll post them soon enough!!

God's Love

Don't really have anything to say, as I am sitting in Uni thinking, why has my dissertation supervisor vanished into thin air?

She's gone, not in her office, and not replying to my emails. If i don't let this go I'll start thinking that the world hates me! I'll email her again, maybe she's teaching.

Last night was the first time in 2 years that I turned up to CU late and with nothing to do. It was great to actually learn something about God and who he is. My particular small group looked at final judgement.

We read Romans 1, 2 & 3. It was alot, but it did make me realise how childish I've been acting in the last few days. I've been getting annoyed at people for reasons that are mainly based on the way I feel, not by actually speaking to them. Another thing I need to learn about clearly, especially when God was shouting at me on the way back from Kent.

He was saying about unconditional love and how I need to love people no matter what they've done. If I have issues I need to share them with that person before I get angry, because they may have every right to have been acting in that way. Or maybe that's just something I have to adjust to as part of their personality.

"You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same" - Chris Tomlin

Obviously he's talking about God and his unconditional love for us. I need to learn to share it!

So I did have a lot to say... hope it was helpful.

Wales again

Just a quick one before my 9 am lecture to let you know that I've been offered a job in Wales.

I can go there if I want to. I still have other things to consider, but lots of people keep mentioning the Welsh boy. Believe me, I don't know who he is, but he does sound good.

Of course I am not that fickle and would not choose a place just because of a boy (or perceived boy in this case).

I got excited when I told Selina last night, we jumped around a bit at cell because she has a job for next year too! Very happy, but the lecture is calling. I'm so dedicated!

Back to Uni

I got up really early this morning and experienced the student world waking up around me, very fun. The IT Suite is now getting louder, so it's nearly time to leave and go to Kent for a couple of days.

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had TGI's in the morning, foirst one back after easter and the start of my final term with them. I've very sad to be leaving the lovely people in the team and the young people in the group.

I get one final go at youth work with these guys at Ignite. I'm starting to get excited about that, but I have to finish my degree first!

The evening service was really good for me. I didn't actually grasp what the talk was about, but God wanted to say something different to me. I thought I was dealing with it quite well, then I talked to a couple of people and it turns out I'm still holding on to stuff.

My Dad is teaching on John 21 v 15-25 next Sunday, and it struck me how desperate God is for the Love he gives to come back to Him. He needs to hear confirmation that he is loved by Peter just as much as we do.

3 people told me that Jesus loves me and has something great planned for me yesterday, and I still don't really believe it. I need to let go and trust whats going to happen to me will be good.

That is easier said than done.

Wales

It went really well yesterday.

I had a lot to say, and so did they. The guy who interviewed me put a postive spin on everything that I did and was happy for me to use all my past experience to deal with problems. To say I had a lot on my mind was an understatement...

But the Sun shined on the whole day


It was really good to chat to some of the staff that work there, even if I did end up talking about their connections to Luton. Christian circles are very small.

I just have to wait to hear from them now. Should be by the end of this week hopefully!

Uni

I'm back in a very sunny Luton. It seemed like such a task yesterday to get everything ready, but I have worked out that I can pack just as effectively in no time at all, than taking a few days.

I'm a little bit ill right now due to not being as busy as last week and the live jab that I had on Monday. Please pray for me as I have a report due in 8 days and I'm ver scared I won't get it done.

Went to Selina's last night, having not seen her for 3 weeks. I wasn't impressed with the constant laughing at me over being ill and my attidue! But hey, I'll be able to laugh one day.

I'm glad to be back and can't wait to go to church on Sunday and see everyone.

Harrow and all things GOD

Well, I'm back from Harrow and mission.

Sitting at home hoping that I'm not ill, but the sore throat is telling me differently.

I loved the mission. We did a holiday club and various evening activities. It is great to tell people about GOD and show love through the actions.

I also participated in a small miracle. We ripped up a picture that we had drawn and put it back together. 'GOD can fix everything'. Yes he can, one boy decided to rip his A4 picture into lots of peices, saying 'its impossible to put back together'. But after about 45 mins of sitting in front of the picture, it slowly came together.

The next morning we showed him the picture, I think he was impressed. I definitely was, I forgot GOD had that much patience (and more).

So many people want to start church because their children went to this holiday club.

Very happy and very humbled by Jesus.

I also got to lead one game in the 14-18 event. It was great to hear the young people enjoying themselves. It was good to see the team get so involved with everything. Although we complained about tiredness, the Holy Spirit still worked through everyone.

I had my interview for there as well. It went well, and I would be appy to go there. I think that I have a very tough decision to make in the next few weeks. My brain hurts.

Good Friday

Yes I know its Saturday already, but I did have a good Friday yesterday despite the fact that Dad reckons I have damaged one of the muscles that surrounds my left lung. I am going to see a doctor.

So back to yeaterday. We did a really excellent meditation at church in the morning, then a walk of witness up the high street. We got abused hurled at us from some random bloke in town and then some of the procession, of about 500 people, nearly got run over by an ambulance (the procession crosses the entrance to an ambulance station, they weren't trying!).

We sat in Emmanuel Church at the top of the high street for another service before heading to the pub for lunch.

It was great to sit with about 20 people and eat dinner together, something we haven't done for a while.

Then I found out my aunt and her family were visting my nan, so we had tea with them, fish and chips. We talked about the tradition of eating fish on fridays, but couldn't find and answer, so any ideas?

All in all a good day and I've seen everyone in essex. It must be time to move on...

Easter Mission

It's been a mission these last few days.

I've been in Harrow (North West London) celebrating Miriam's birthday. It was very fun and I'm glad that I've met another prospective employer for next year. It seems like a nice area. I probably heard as many (if not less) sirens than Luton. As you can tell I'm not scared.

The amount God has taught me this year I think I have no reason to be scared!!

So I'm going on little to no sleep, always more fun. I'm off to Luton for a few hours tomorrow, maybe see some people who I didn't get a chance to chat to on Sunday.

I'm going on another mission next Monday, in Harrow at Elmfield. I'm looking forward to it.

So don't cry if you don't hear from me, I'll be busy!

Archery, Rock Climbing, Potholing and Abseiling

These are some of the things TGI's (and leaders) did this weekend at Phasels Wood.

It was great! I had a lot of fun, mainly running around after the youth thinking "thankyou Jesus for my energy". I even had enough left over to clean the kitchen and mop the floor (it was a big floor).

The talk that I was dreading turned out really well. The Holy Spirit really guided me into what they youth needed to hear. Lots of people said I did really well. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to pray lots this weekend.

Then this evening at Church I got challenged right back by God. We all need to hear from God now and again. Tonight was one of those nights.

I'm scared to move away from Luton, I'm scared to leave the things and people I love. The next time I move out of Billericay, it will probably be for a long time.

God told me that I shall be moving and not to be scared. The speaker talked about the people who were in the shadows (I'm not so much in the shadows, but I am under supervision) needing to move to be 'spotted' and used. I think it's going to be right that I move away properly.

So just to confirm it really I got an email from Careforce over the weekend. The churches they are commending me to are in Kidderminster, I've been there once before, may be a random coincidence, who knows?

I'm very excited and not looking to go to bed any time soon, which is mental because I've been up sonce 7am.

Wales is finally happening

So I brought the tickets and they arrived. I'm off to wales for my interview on 8th April, prayers much appreciated.

I picked them up from our washing machine (they were on the top, not in it!) after my 13 hour day (which eventually ended up being more like 17 hours - pastoral care at midnight for an hour is always fun)

Going to scout camp tonight with the TGI's. I am staring to look forward to it! I can't wait to talk to them and get messy. The best thing about it is it only takes up a weekend of my life. A relatively short amount of time and I'll probably never have to do it again!

I got my YFC application form through the post, finally. The thing that made me laugh is that part of it is about applying to Activate, their music/drama/performance team. The additional information is about my vocal range (hmmm) and 'auditions' start in March (he he). Something tells me that they haven't thought this one through.

But that means its a challenge. When have I ever shyed away from a challenge (please don't answer that... I know the greatest challenge I've shyed away from and I'm not proud!)??

Anyway, bring on the weekend!!



Der Herr ist gnädig und barmherzig, seine Geduld hat kein Ende und seine Liebe ist grenzenlos!
Psalm 145:8
I typed it all myself (so spelling maybe a bit off, but I'm getting there!).

Proof...

... that Luton is just as far away from London as Billericay.

I got my Wales interview confirmation yesterday. I'm very excited by it all. Now I just have to decide where to travel from.

I asked the question, is it better travelling from Luton to Cardiff, or from Billericay. I could feasibly be in either place.

So I did the maths. Funny thing is, it takes 2 mins more to travel from Billericay on the train! A whole two minutes and it cost the same. So I figured I'll probably travel from Luton. That way I can sleep the saturday after and not have to worry about packing and unpacking the car.

Of course the other option is driving... he he! I think not.

Saying that, it takes an hour less, but looks a lot more complicated than travelling into London St Pancras and out of Paddington. Going to be a girl on this one, and I do already have 2 cross country trips planned this year.

Now to find the money to buy the ticket...

Its been a while...

I'm busy. Very busy.

I'm also ill.

But praying through it all. I've done the first 200 words of the next part of the dissertation thing. I should be in the Library finding books, but it can wait another two minutes.

TGI's are going away this weekend to Hemel. Should be fun. I'm doing the Sunday morning talk on 'School and Worship'. Please pray for me. I forgot to ask Charlie how long I need to talk and already my brain is alight with ideas.

This weekend will be full of Psalm 145 v 8. 'The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.'

I've nearly learnt it in German (that was a lent thing). Only a couple of weeks to go, argh!

Recent Events

A big congrats goes to Marc and Vero who got married on the 5th March 2005.
This is them being pelted with rice!


A Christian wedding and we get there to find this

Empty bottles. I laughed lots, then joined in!

I got more pictures sent,
I think this one is my favourite

Top Golf and Breaking down

I nearly died last night.

This is not an over-dramatisation of the truth.

We were on our way to Top Golf (its linked cos I can't be arsed to explain) and Tim's car broke. Yes I'm being very girly and I did not listen to the RAC man who told Tim we could have died on the M1 if the car had broken any earlier.

Jesus saved us last night.

I'm very grateful to Gordon who came to pick us up.

24 hours

Well, I did the fast thing for 24 whole hours.

I know its not very long, but I do feel like I've achieved something. I can say I'm proud of myself and of all the people who took part. It was interesting to see how I felt after 24 hours of not eating, but to tell you the truth, I was just tired.

The computers at Uni aren't working right now. The mail system is down and the internet is being really rubbish. I can't get to my emails, very annoying.

I can get to Hotmail though, I got these this morning...


Its great to hear from you, J. Thanks very much.

I also realised how 24 hours can change everything. In that last 24 hours I have been called by God, helped a friend and prayed alot. So much has happened that it is very hard to get my head around the things that make my life so different.

I've also been asked to produce some ideas on what it means to be a Christian women in the 21st century. Interesting. I will really have to think about this one.

Giggle

Just agreed to do the Word section in cell in two weeks time.

Its all about not worrying... had to laugh. God has a great way of pointing out stuff, doesn't he??

I won't be your winter

Its been snowing for the last 5 hours at least. And its wet snow, so kind of settling but turning into slush. I'd much rather be warm.

This is what I woke up to this morning

Looks peaceful doesn't it?

Cell was fun last night. We were talking about the Holy Spirit being with us constantly. It was greatly encouraging, when I got to bed (eventually) I had a really good prayer time. It was amazing.

Jana left this morning. She's all the way back in Canada. See you mate! Have a great time at home and we'll see you soon. Love you.

Oh well, all the snow is slowly melting and I need some lunch.

Interesting Insight

Yesterday was great. After I left the IT Suite (pretty sharpish due to a random bloke trying to chat me up) I went to Christine's for dinner with Jana. Her first time on public transport (that isn't a train or coach - what other types are there?). Suddenly felt like the authority on buses, when its the only bit of public transport I'm scared of!

During dinner Christine got a phone call from Charlie asking if we could supervise cell at Infinity (4 leaders had dropped out an hour before it started). It's been 18 months since I was at Infinity, I got very excited.

We actually were a little late, but said hi to every one before going to pray. Then Steve led worship. It was very amazing. Some stuff realy hit home with me, the sad thing is it took at least another 30 minutes to even dawn on the girls who were in the cell group.

Insight in to the current Infinity. I asked, 'how often do you talk to God?' and got a resounding silence. We prayed. The sad thing about living in an instant society is as soon as I said they could go they all disappeared quickly.

If I had felt in a rude mood, I would have made then answer all the questions again once they were engaged in the material, but I didn't. I just made them sit in silence for a minute, thinking about what they are bound by. Is it possible to be bound by dis-respect?

Trusting Times

Yes, I'm learning to trust all the time...

I think that is all I can really say with out letting on as to what its about. I think I really really have to trust Jesus with everything right now.

Next year is looking promising, all applications are in, the email told me so. I'm really looking forward to going to interviews, very scary. I can't believe I get to go and talk about doing what I love and involving Jesus.

So thats all ok. I can handle being in the process of that because I've been there for a few months.

I've written 500 words of my dissertation. 500 very dis-jointed words of an introduction. But its there to be refined and added to. I'm on my way. Inviting God in to my brain everytime I sit down to do some work, itd the only way I'll keep awake!

I think the only thing I'm really having problems with is the idea that I will be leaving Luton. I will be leaving this...

Sad, very sad, hard to trust that I'll be happy else where.

On a lighter note, Eleanor and Richard got engaged on Saturday. Congrats to them! (may get to come back to Luton within the year for that one)

Learning to say NO

As Christians this is something we definitely have to learn. I know I'm a victim of 'yes' escaping my mouth too often. Saying no is a learned expression.

I experienced this twice yesterday. There was definitely one person who shouldn't have been at cell yesterday, she turned up at mine, told me she was ill and I had my first instance of sending some one home successfully. I know that she really wanted to be at cell, but even Jesus wanted a rest some times.

I believe showing compassion to others is about knowing their needs. Jesus went to a solitary place in Matt 14:13 then showed compassion on the crowd (v14). He catered first for his needs, then the crowds needs.

We need to learn the line between looking after ourselves and being selfish. This involves missing events and staying in bed to get better.

The other incident I will mention is the way Christians tend to run to the aid of people who shout loudly. I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to help people in need, but when the cry is one of attention we need to learn to sit down for a second and reflect on why we are being called.

Next time you are tired, ill or just feeling horrid, think for a second, would you do better sitting at home for a few hours relaxing, or out about doing yourself inevitably more damage?

Next time you are called on, stop, think. You probably know the person who is calling you... Would it be helpful for you to stay where you are, or do you really need to go?

Learn to say no, and remember that compassion isn't just shown in what we can do physically.

Cake and Boys

Before

After

He he! We had lots of cake last night and we talked about lots of boys. Funny how we had questions posed to go round the table and I managed to always be picked on for being pretty silent!

Sill questions like: who is your favourite celeb? Where would you go on the perfect date? Etc etc...

Of course we talked about the boys we know and laughed too. It was great fun to eat really bad food and giggle about how red different types of people go when mentioning certain boys!

We ended the night by wathching Wimbledon and drinking too much hot chocolate. Ewww... the walk home was slow.

This was my hand after saturday night. We crowd-surfed Jude as part of her commissioning! It was great fun. God spoke to me a lot last weekend and I'm still really excited about what I can do for Him. Bring on next year!

Running Late

I've finally caught up with God. After all this time I have got the message about what God would like me to feel, what he has done for me and how I can cope.

The passage that has been my theme this year is Psalm 145v8:

'The LORD is gracious and compassionate; slow to anger and rich in love'

It came up twice yesterday. I can't imagine how I'd be feeling if I'd missed yesterday. I thinkI'd probably be in a deeper hole.

As it turns out I'm rather happy knowing that I can't do anything to earn God's grace I have it and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be here with a great bunch of friends. I don't deserve to have a family which I talk to and asks me if they can buy me concert tickets. I don't deserve to have Valentine's day with all the girls.

I can't explain the joy that I found yesterday. Knowing all these things, all I could do was praise the famous One.

Valentines and all that...

If I told you who I was buying cards for it would give it away...

But don't worry about me sending unwanted cards, I wouldn't want to risk being accused of sexual harrassment (yes I know, mental or what?).

Prayer breakfast this morning was a good laugh. We giggled through most of it.Just the girls. (out come the joke that will stay with me forever 'God does have a sense of humour, he made Karen' - Thanks miriam)

Washing up fairy still hasn't been... wonder if she's so busy that it'll be there all weekend.

At the moment I'm part taking in a psych test. The effects of caffine on working memory, whilst looking at personality. It sure was intersting this morning trying to not fall asleep whilst praying.

The question has been, why don't you give up caffine for lent? The answer is, are you having a laugh? It would wreck my insides.

Have a good weekend, and a great Valentines day, whatever you are doing. Consumerism at its strongest!

Early starts and late nights

All good for the immune system, honest!

Woke up this morning with 3 hours of sleep under my belt. I was fighting with Microsoft Word. As always the 'Print 2 pages per A4' option ceased to come into fruition, so I resorted to working with columns, screen capture and picture editing. At the end of the day/early in the morning it looked really good, and serves its purpose.

I woke up long before anyone in the house to print it this morning. For some reson I'm really enjoying the walk down in the mornings, and actually being up for practically the whole day is great. Although not being at home has its downsides. The washing up fairy hasn't been round yet. It quite strange considering the boys have nothing to do.

Yesterday we woke up to this...

Thats Howard! Yeay for good publicity. There are various other photos from the day on this site.

Started lectures today. I have 4 hours on a Thursday and 2 on Friday. If any one uses easy to describe my week, I'd agree, then my dissertation hits me and I'll cry!

(Trying to be nice and not complaining for Lent too, as I spent a large amount of time analysing and evaluating me yesterday. It could just go out the window with in seconds!)

Off to buy Valentines Day cards....

Mid week prayer

We had a rather long meeting this morning. It did actually last the whole hour. I was so impressed.

Now I get to sit around until the prayer meeting I'm running at 2. I was going to go home, but I might do some more praying.

Here's te space we are in:

One of the many creative things that Miriam, my amazing housemate has produced...

She's so brilliant. Its a bit of a shame that the president of the CU has yet to see the space.

You can view more pictures here. They are under the tag prayerweek.

We flick through the papers each day and found that its creative week this week. This is my little addition to it...

Jelly fish? Nope. Fibre optic thing, yes! Sorry, I know I'm slightly obsessed. But it is really cool!! (eventually I will stop talking)

But I'm not giving it up for lent. I am giving up sitting in front of the telly for no reason. Not cutting out TV altogether, just not going to spend hours in front of it. Have also decided to learn some verses in German. This should be interesting.

Pancake heaven

Isn't this so pretty? Its a fibre optic tree thing that changes colour... I've actually gone a little trigger happy with the camera. As yet I haven't caught a sun rise (those of you who were up know that it was quite misty this morning), but there are 4 prayer breakfasts left, so you never know. Yes, annonymous, the sun does rise. "What comes up must go down"

Worked out that you have to really listen to the radio for any weather information in the morning, the darkness doesn't give any hint to the days weather. But so far I've managed to walk around with out a coat. Nice and sunny.

We have discovered as a house that it is actually more dangerous between 7 and 8 to walk into town. People aren't awake enough, so we've started using crossings and traffic lights. I think I might pick a job where travelling in rush hour is an option!

We had pancakes for breakfast, lunch and probably dinner!

Pancake day is great fun. Unfortunately we came 3rd in the first heat of the pancake race and didn't get to race again. Miriam, however, told TV and radio that her Mrs Incredible trousers kept falling down. So we're looking out for the university team on the news and radio! Pictures to come, promise! Watch this space for links.

Well, off to find the dissertation supervisior. Have lots to be doing (that I probably should have done already)...

Monday Morning

I've been up since 6.30am. Thats still in the dark at this time of year. Which means I've actually lost count of how many days I've been up before 10. Great fun.

The only problem with getting up so early is the fact that you feel hungry by 10. But I've promised myself that I will snack on healthy things (due to the amount of coffee in take).

I did see the sun rise this morning, but due to having brain unplugged (and being late) I didn't thik to get my camera out and take a picture... maybe tommorow.

Gotta shut the prayer room tonight (pictures to come) and cook pancakes for breakfast tommorow. So far, so good. Although not feeling the support form the other committee memebers. Unfortunately I've come to accept it, but Miriams more than a little annoyed. She has a lot to learn...